And More About ‘Kvatter’
Rabbi Moshe Taub
Published in Ami Magazine, Feb. 2014
Part 1 -The Question
What are segulos? It would seem that the best definition of what we colloquially term ‘Segulos’ are deeds that in and of themselves do not bring merit per se (i.e. zchar; e.g. the mitzvah and energy toward honoring parents merits a long life) but rather actions un-tethered to commands yet that can nevertheless marshal forces to our aid that are beyond our understanding.
Several weeks ago a family in another shul in-town called to inform me of a bris they would be making the next day. After notifying them that I was planning on coming, they let me know that they planned on giving me the kibud of kvatter, explaining that since we have only daughters they wanted us to have the segulah -by way of kvattering – of having boys.
This was a very nice gesture; although, to be honest, I have never heard of the act of kvatter helping an all-girl family have boys, or visa versa.
I hung up the phone and began to ponder if there is a source I was missing. It suddenly dawned on me that not only do I not know a source for this segulah but I also have no idea the source for the more famous segulah that acting as kvatter is a zechus to have children in general!
Now I am sure that there are many readers with pen already in hand ready to write a letter detailing to me their or an acquaintance’s kvatter story. I too know of many such stories. True, even if a particular segulah is a mesorah does not then mean that it can be found in writing. Yet also true is the fact that even if a segulah has seemed to ‘work’ does not mean that it based on mesorah.
When I asked the baal simchah how he knew of such a segulah he immediately sent me a picture of a page from a modern halachik work on milah. The source in that sefer was from another modern sefer. Upon looking up the sourced second modern sefer I saw that it simply says that the idea that serving as kvatter is a segulah for children is ‘what people say’.
While the baal simcha was satisfied with his research, it was clear to me that more investigation was needed.
I would soon discover that many gedolim were asked about the provenance of this segulah, with some replying that they knew of no source.
It should also be noted that the entire concept of kvatter is itself shrouded in mystery; we are unsure when this kibud began, nor do we know what the term ‘kvatter‘ even means!
The Shulchan Aruch (Rama siman 265) states that while a woman may not serve as sandek she may however bring the baby up to the door of the shul and pass the baby to her husband who will then act as sandek. It would seem then that kvatter and sandek were once seen as one in the same. This may explain what the word kvatter means. For sandek is translated as godfather, which in Yiddish or German is GutFetter, which can easily be read as gefatter, or, kvatter.
Furthermore, the high honor of acting as the sandek is compared to being maktir ketores (offering incense on the mizbeach; see Rama as well as Midrash Rabba, Nasso 14:24). Such an act would be termed ‘Koter’. In Hebrew the ‘o’ vowel would be effected by the letter ‘vav’, which can easily be mistaken as a ‘v’ dound, being read as ‘kvatter’.
Continuing the idea that the role of kvatter began as the role of the sandek (and his wife) is the idea that a sandek, and perhaps all who take part in helping with the bris, are deemed shluchim of the father – acting on his behalf so that he can fulfill his requirement of performing a bris on his son. Kvatter then could simply be made up by the words of K’fetter, lit. Like the father.
For whatever reason, at some point in the past 500 years (note that even Siddur Beis Yaakov by Rav Yaakov Emden –late 1700’s –makes no mention of our current practice) we created this new, separate kibud that we call kvatter where a wife gives the baby to her husband who will then bring him to the bris.
Being that the entire enterprise of kvattering is relatively new what then could be the source for the segula?!
At first, the only source I found was in my trusty Shaarei Aaron. Each week I study the parsha with this wonderful sefer that seeks to gather the main pshat-oriented interpretations to each and every pasuk of the Torah. At the end of Lech Lcha he points out the correlation of Avraham’s bris and HKBH’s promise to increase his nation’s size generally as well as the promise of Yitzchak’s birth in particular. In pasuk 17:2 the verse states, “I will place my bris bayni u’veyncha –between Me and you – and I will increase you very much”
The Shaarei Aaron comments that perhaps this is the source for the kvatter segulah, as we see here a correlation between bris mila (or, helping with a bris mila) and having children; as the act of kvattering is the act of helping a bris bayni u’veyncha, between you and the father (or whomever the kvatter passes the baby to)…to which/whom Hashem promised will bring children.
While an interesting idea I was still not satisfied.
I then reached out to Rabbi Paysach Krohn, a mohel par excellence. He pointed out that in his book on bris mila (Artscroll) he delves into this issue. He alerted me to a midrash in Bamidbar Rabba, Nasso 14:2 (Vilna ed.). There, chazal teache us that when Hashem sees someone helping another in serving Him regarding a matter for which the helper themselves lacks – say a mohel who does not have kids of his own –then Hashem will grant that person with the opportunity to perform this mitzvah for themselves.
What a source!
This would mean, additionally, that anyone involved with helping or assisting in a bris would have this same merit! This may also prove that the baal simcha in my case was correct in that serving as kvatter can help with an all-girl family have boys. For, since one is assisting in a mitzvah that they themselves have never been able to perform Hashem may see this as a reason to grant them a boy to perform it themselves.
I then recalled a similar idea from the gemara (Shekalim 14a). There, the story is told regarding an individual who helped secure water for the populace. On the day of his daughter’s wedding day she was rumored to have drowned. Rav Pinchas ben Yair, after being informed of the circumstances surrounding her ‘death’, responded by asking/praying “Can one who honors Hashem through water be punished through water?!” And indeed she was found alive. From here we see the idea of Hashem also not punishing one through the very tool that he/she befits others with.
May we have faith in the surreptitious genius of the Jewish nation and in the mysterious segulos they cite; and may Hashem have faith in us as well through granting us all what we so deeply desire.
POSTSCRIPT:
The sefer Zichron Yaakov (65-66), by Rav Yitzchok Elchanan Spector’s shamash Rabbi Yaakov Lipshitz, writes how in his days the kvatter were little children dressed like adults – The boy wore a shtreimel & the girl wore a tichel!









