A Source for the Kvatter Segula?

Rabbi Moshe Taub

Feb. 2014

What are segulos? It would seem that the best definition of what we colloquially term ‘Segulos’ are deeds that in and of themselves do not bring merit per se (i.e. zchar; e.g. the mitzvah and energy toward honoring parents merits a long life) but rather actions un-tethered to commands yet that can nevertheless marshal forces to our aid that are beyond our understanding.

Several weeks ago a family in another shul in-town called to inform me of a bris they would be making the next day. After notifying them that I was planning on coming, they let me know that they planned on giving me the kibud of kvatter, explaining that since we have only daughters they wanted us to have the segulah -by way of kvattering – of having boys.

This was a very nice gesture; although, to be honest, I have never heard of the act of kvatter helping an all-girl family have boys, or visa versa.

I hung up the phone and began to ponder if there is a source I was missing. It suddenly dawned on me that not only do I not know a source for this segulah but I also have no idea the source for the more famous segulah  that acting as kvatter is a zechus to have children in general!

Now I am sure that there are many readers with pen already in hand ready to write a letter detailing me their or an acquaintance’s kvatter story. I too know of many such stories. Yet evne if a particular segulah is a mesorah does not then mean that it can be found in writing, and even if a segulah has worked does not mean that it based on mesorah.

To explain what I mean –and before I detail my search for this particular segulah of serving as kvatter – let me share with you a most amazing teshuvah from Rav Moshe Feinstien.

For the uninitiated the Igros Moshe, or any teshuvah sefer for that matter, can seem very dry to those not immersed in the world of halacha. However every once in a while Rav Moshe or another eminent posek will drop some fascinating tidbits from their own lives.

In one teshuvah (Igros Moshe Yoreh Deah 4:51:2) Rav Moshe discusses the efficacy of receiving a beracha from a gado ba’Torah. This discussion suddenly takes an odd turn when Rav Moshe begins to wonder why it is that people come to him for berachos! He also seems bothered by the fcat that these berachos he gives seem to work!

How can this be?, wonders Rav Moshe.

Let me quote directly from his words, as they are, put simply, remarkable:

“…As is written in Bava Basra 116a, ‘Expounds Rav Pinchas Ben Chama, Anyone who has a sick person in their house should go to a scholar (chacham) and he will beseech Gd on their behalf’…And also what people request from me (Rav Moshe), to pray for them or to give them berachos, is due to the fact that I am seen by many as a chacham.

“Now, it never helps when I tell them that they are mistaken; as I have yet to reach the level of chachamah. On the contrary (when I tell them this) they think this is coming from my modesty.

“I also cannot hide from the reality that I am known as a chacham, likely because I run a yeshivah, give shiurim, as well as due to the books that I have published.

“Now, even though I am far from the person to whom Rav Pinchas Ben Chama was referring, (and I am even) far from chachamim who came long after the gemara, perhaps it is enough to be considered a chacham in each particular generation.

“However, this may only be true regarding psak halacha –where all that matters is that one is wise relative to his times –and would not, then, also extend to concepts of the power of such a modern posek’s teffilah.

“However there is to suggest that indeed Rav Pinchas Ben Chama was speaking to all future generations’ wise, even though he knew that they would be weak compared to the past.

“Therefore, even though I do not see myself as a chacham, even relative to our own times, nevertheless since the sick (and all those who seek-out my blessings) ascribe to me the imprimatur ‘chacham’, they are then following the rule of Rav Pinchas Ben Chama (to go to a chacham) as best he could.

“It is then their zechus in following (in their mind) the spirit or law of this gemara that is behind the merit that Hashem should accept my teffilos and berachos”

Rav Moshe was asserting that while he certainly was not worthy of giving berachos the fact that others believed he was, and believed that they were thereby following what chazal had recommended, that emunah in Chazal was the reason that his berachos worked!

While would respectfully disagree with Rav Moshe’s description of himself and why his berachos seemed to work, what he writes as another possibility for why his berachos  worked is fascinating in its own right.

Sometimes our seeking to do what we truly think is the right thing is all that matters to Hashem.

Perhaps the same can be said for the myriad of segulos out there. While many lack any clear evidence or source, nothing can detract from the fact that those utilizing them are demonstrating a deep belief in the hashgacha of Hashem in this world, and perhaps this alone is reason enough not to dissuade them (so long as their actions do not run counter to other Torah issues).

With this in mind let us explore the segulah of the kvatter to have children as well as some other famous meritorious deeds and concepts….

Kvatter Part 2

We just spoke about a family that was mechabaid my wife and me with serving as kvatter by their bris. They explained that this would be a segulah for us –who have all girls –to have sons.

 I mentioned that not only was I not aware of such a segulah but I was also unfamiliar of the source for the wider known segulah that serving as kvatter is a zechus for children in general.

We then spent the rest of the column suggesting the power that a segulah may have even if it has no source.

Let me now get back to the main issue and the search for the source for this well-known segulah (that serving as kvatter is a zechus for having children in general).

When I asked the baal simchah how he knew of such a segulah he immediately sent me a picture of a page of a modern halachik work on milah. The source in that sefer was from another modern sefer. Upon looking up the sourced second modern sefer I saw that it simply says that the idea that serving as kvatter is a segulah for children is ‘what people say’.

While the baal simcha was satisfied with his research, it was clear to me that more research still had to be done.

 – As an aside, although here we were not dealing with a matter of halcha per se, this story demonstrates one of the dangers of deciding a halachik ruling from modern works of halacha. The average reader has no way to decipher if a particular ruling given by the author is his own or a matter of settled law. I recall once being respectfully challenged about a ruling I gave simply due to the fact that this person saw otherwise in an English work of halacha. Convincing him that what he saw asserted in print was not a closed matter was no easy task, and one that doctors too must face now with the popularity of WebMD –

Upon further research I discovered the many gedolim were asked about this segulah and some replied that they knew of no source.

However, this does not mean that either A) there cannot be a source that alluded them or B) that whoever introduced this idea did not have his/her own reasons for suggesting the power inherent in being kvatter.

It should also be noted that the entire concept of kvatter is itself shrouded in mystery; we are unsure when this kibud began nor do we know what the term kvatter even means.

The Shulchan Aruch (Rama siman 265) states that while a woman may not serve as sandek she may however bring the baby up to the door of the shul and pass the baby to her husband who will then act as sandek. It would seem then that kvatter and sandek were once one in the same. This may explain what the word kvatter means. For sandek is translated as godfather, which in Yiddish or German is GutFetter, which can easily be read as gefatter, or, kvatter.

Furthermore, being that a sandek is high honor it is compared to being maktir ketores (offering incense on the mizbeach😉 (see Rama as well as Midrash Rabba, Nasso 14:24). This act would be termed ‘Koter’. In Hebrew the ‘o’ would be a ‘vav’ which then can easily be mistaken as being read as ‘kvatter’.

Continuing the idea that the role of kvatter began as the role of the sandek and his wife is the idea that a sandek, and perhaps all who take part in helping with the bris, are deemed shluchim of the father and are acting on his behalf so that he can fulfill his requirement of performing a bris on his son. Kvatter then could be made up by the words of K’fetter, lit. Like the father.

For whatever reason, at some point in the past 500 years (note that even Siddur Beis Yaakov by Rav Yaakov Emden –late 1700’s –makes no mention of our current practice) we created this new, separate kibud that we call kvatter where a wife gives the baby to her husband who will then bring him to the bris.

Being that the entire enterprise of kvattering is relatively new what then could the source for the segulah be?!

At first, the only source I found was in my trusty Shaarei Aaron. Each week I study the parsha with this wonderful sefer that seeks to gather the main pshat oriented interpretations to each and every pasuk of the Torah. At the end of Lech Lcha he points out the correlation of Avraham’s bris and HKBH’s promise to increase his nation’s size generally and the promise of Yitzchak’s birth particularly. In pasuk 17:2 the verse states, “I will place my bris bayni u’veyncha –between Me and you – and I will increase you very much”

The Shaarei Aaron comments on this pasuk that perhaps this is the source for the segulah, as we see a correlation between bris mila (or, helping a bris mila) with having children, for the act of kvattering is the act of helping a bris bayni u’veyncha, between you and the father (or whomever the kvatter passes the baby to) to which Hashem promised will bring children.

While an interesting idea I was still not satisfied. I reached out to Rabbi Paysach Krohn, a mohel par excellence. He pointed out that in his book on bris mila (Artscroll) he delves into this issue. He alerted me to a midrash in Bamidbar Rabba, Nasso 14:2 (Vilna ed.). There the midrash teaches us that when Hashem sees someone helping another in serving Him, while the helper themselves lacks that very item –say a mohel who does not have kids of his own –then Hashem will grant that person with the opportunity to perform this mitzvah for themselves.

What a source! This would mean, additionally, that anyone involved with helping or assisting in a bris would have this same merit. This may also prove that the baal simcha in my case was correct in that serving as kvatter can help with an all-girl family have boys. For, since one is assisting in a mitzvah that they themselves have never been able to perform Hashem may see this as a reason to grant them a boy to perform it themselves.

I then recalled a similar idea from the gemara (Shekalim 14a). There the story is told regarding an individual who helped secure water for the populace. On the day of his daughter’s wedding day she was rumored to have drowned. Rav Pinchas ben Yair, after being informed of the circumstances surrounding her ‘death’, responded by asking/praying “Can one who honors Hashem through water be punished through water?!” And indeed she was found alive. From here we see the idea of Hashem also not punishing one through the very tool that he/she befits others with.

May we have faith in the surreptitious genius of the Jewish nation and in the mysterious segulos they cite; and may Hashem have faith in us as well through granting us all what we so deeply desire.