When To Eat The Seudah…and More
What followed was a series of guidelines for the Purim seudah when Purim falls on a Friday.
But first, some background is in order.
The Shulchan Aruch forbids one to eat a full meal on Erev Shabbos. Although regular daily meals such as breakfast are fine, once we get to the ninth halachic hour of the day, even those would be forbidden. The purpose, of course, is to make sure we enter Shabbos with anticipation and a healthy appetite.
Although having a regular lunch, even with bread, is permissible, some poskim posit that in the short winter months, one must be careful not to eat too much even before the ninth hour. The Aruch Hashulchan states that on these very early Shabbosos, one should not have bread at all on Friday and should simply “taste” samplings of food throughout the day. Others are only careful on these early Shabbosos not to wash over bread past midday.
In fact, the Shulchan Aruch records that some anshei maaseh, very conscientious people, used to fast every Friday in order to enter Shabbos in a state of hunger. Of course, this is not our practice since fasting causes fatigue and irritability (although we do fast when Asarah B’Teves falls on a Friday; all sources above from siman 249).
But what if there is an occasion for a seudas mitzvah on Friday? The Shulchan Aruch states that one should not even make a wedding feast on Erev Shabbos.
The poskim explain that the example of a wedding was chosen because it isn’t necessary to get married on a Friday. But if, say, a bris or a pidyon haben—which are mandated by halachah—falls on Erev Shabbos, a seudas mitzvah would be allowed. Even in such cases, however, the poskim lay out many rules and suggestions, such as having the meal as early in the day as possible and not inviting too many guests.
These concerns are so important that according to some, one must be mindful on the first day of a Yom Tov not to finish the meal so late that he will ruin his appetite for that night’s seudah (Magen Avraham; cf. Biur Halachah 429, but see Mishnah Brurah 471:16).
With all this in mind, let’s explore best practices for an Erev Shabbos Purim.
The Rema tells us in Hilchos Purim (695:2) that one may have a morning seudah on Purim even when it doesn’t fall on Erev Shabbos. Although that is not a time most people will choose to enjoy the simchah and achdus of this day, it might be a good idea this year. Indeed, that is the Rema’s opinion. It should be pointed out, however, that when he says “morning,” he does not mean breakfast, but rather, before halachic midday (around 1 p.m. in New York City).
There is an additional benefit of having an earlier seudah, and that is the fact that too much drinking close to Shabbos risks destroying the Friday-night seudah.
Along those lines, drinking at kiddush on a regular Shabbos morning has vexed many wives for years. Too often, by the time the husband returns from kiddush, he is tipsy or tired and winds up lying down, ruining the Shabbos meal for the entire family. This concern is mentioned explicitly by the Mishnah Brurah (249:14).
Some minhagim allow for an Erev Shabbos Purim seudah up to the tenth hour of the day (around 4 p.m. in New York City).
Of course, everyone should follow the minhag of his parents or rebbi, and in a case of b’di’eved he should speak to a rav.
There is, however, one more minhag—combining the Purim seudah with the Friday-night seudah. For those who do not have this practice, it is not simple, and one who would like to do so must speak to his rav.
The way this works is as follows: One has a late seudah before plag haminchah (around 4:30 p.m. NYC time), and at some point between plag and several minutes before sundown (around 6:50 p.m. NYC time) everyone accepts Shabbos—either verbally or by saying all of Kabbalas Shabbos. They would then make Kiddush and continue eating.
On the one hand, this seems like a marvelous way of enjoying the Purim seudah without ruining the Shabbos meal—and in fact, there is evidence that some Rishonim kept this minhag (Meiri).
However, there are a number of land mines to contend with.
It is likely that when you recite Kiddush, will have to omit the brachah of Hagafen because you probably had wine during the Purim seudah.
Lechem mishneh also becomes complex. Should the challahs be brought out before Kiddush is made, even though you already washed earlier for the Purim meal? Even if you do put out lechem mishneh, you would have to remember not to make a brachah on it but simply cut the challah after Kiddush (see siman 271 and Mishnah Brurah ad loc. 18). And you would have to make sure to eat a kezayis even if you already did so at the Purim seudah.
This is not to mention questions about bentching, about the fact that Maariv must wait until after the seudah, and about how to do poress mateh—separating the two meals before Kiddush begins. Some say one can do this just by covering the challahs, but the Shulchan Aruch Harav says one must cover the entire table!
In the end, here is what I wrote to my shul members.
“We wish to enter Shabbos, which is holier than Purim, in a state of anticipation. It is best to eat the Purim meal earlier in the day, before midday (1:04 p.m. Queens time), thereby allowing hunger to set in before Shabbos. One can accomplish this by starting the meal and completing the majority of it by 1:04 p.m.
“If this is not possible, or if one forgot to eat the seudah, then a later meal would be acceptable if it begins before 4:02 p.m. (Queens time). In such a case, one should strive to complete the majority of the meal by that time.
“A rav should be consulted if a conflict with this 4:02 p.m. time frame is known in advance or arises.
“There is a rare custom to combine a late-day Purim meal with the Friday-night Shabbos seudah (with a break in between). For those whose parents or rebbeim follow this view, a rav should be consulted about how best to navigate the many issues that arise (e.g., how and when to daven Maariv, when to make Kiddush, and when to bentch).
“May we soon celebrate Purim in the era of Moshiach. Wishing everyone a freilichen Purim!”
I am extending that brachah to all of you as well! ●
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