Halachos & Sundry of Which To Be Mindful
January, 2019
Although deeply knowledgeable, it is still uncommon to find my wife perusing one my halacha sefarim at the Shabbos table. Yet, that is what I found her doing the other week.
She explained that she saw the title, “Tu B’Shvat L’Halacha” and wondered how there could be enough material to fill an entire sefer on a topic that is barely even mentioned in the Shulchan Aruch.
I responded that this is exactly why I purchased the sefer –due to the same curiosity. Even more interesting, I shared with her, at this point I own three sefarim dedicated just to Tu B’Shevat!
Such are the times in which we live. I own two sefarim just on left-handedness in halacha, two on hilchos kiddush levanah, another two just dedicated to copyright in halacha, and one on the halachos of one who is incarcerated!
I own an entire sefer dedicated to snow in halacha, and even have an essay from Rav Yosef Zevin z’l (the founding editor and author of Enclyopidia Talmudis) on Shakespeare in halachah!
Many of these come in handy. Several weeks ago a complicated shailah arose relating to aliyos in my shul. There is a sefer –close to 1000 pages –just dedicated to hilchos krias haTorah that helped me crack this unique code.
We live in the era of likuttim.
However, there is one topic in halacha that has produced the most number of likkutuim: Medical Ethics. I am not alone in rabbanus when I say that I own well over fifty volumes that fall under the rubric of this most serious and vexing topic.
The other week my shul hosted Rabbi Dr Avraham Steinberg for a Shabbos. He alone has published well over ten volumes on this topic. While the reader can find out more about him in the featured interview in this issue, I wish to share something he mentioned at the Friday night oneg.
He pointed out that the term ‘Medical Ethics’ does not, obviously, exist in halacha. Halacha is halacha, whether its what constitutes a blech on Shabbos to organ donations.
However, due to the scattered nature of many of these halachos, the complexity of these issues, and the newness of many shailos, we have chosen to go along with this artificially named topic.
Nevertheless, most readers will not have to deal with answering shailos relating to these heady issues.
However, there is one area of medical ethics –one subject relating to Ami’s Medical Issue –with which many of us need a refresher course on.
Many people do not realize, that in addition to an important mitzvah and chesed, bikur cholim is also its own siman in Shulchan Aruch, with its own laws and guidelines regarding which we would be wise to follow.
I refer to the halachos involving bikur cholim.
Like other topics, there are many likkutim on this subject, however the classic is by Rav Aaron Levine.
Rav Levine published an encyclopedic work titled Zichron Meir –a classic among rabbanim –with haskomos ranging from Rav Shach to Rav Gifter. He is also a close family friend.
Some thirty years ago, he took from the third chapter of that work and published an English work just on this topic. I encourage every reader to get their hands on it.
Several weeks ago I mentioned in this space how a member of my shul was in a serious car accident.
This was erev Shabbos. By motzai Shabbos the waiting area was packed with friends. There were at least fifty people there! Instead of caring for their father and husband they had to entertain all of these well meaning people.
He was in an induced coma, so their stay was unnecessary. Come, give the family a hug, ask if they need anything, and then leave.
Another time, I witnessed someone go into a seriously ill patient’s room and asked his wife if he cold take a picture of him to show friends who could not make it of his status!
We do not visit people to fulfill our own curiosity or to check off a list, rather to help the patient and family.
This is a mitzvah deroisa (according to most, cf. Rambam. Even according to him it still falls under ‘v’ahavtah…’), and perhaps several mitzvos, and should be done with great thought and care.
I always advise people to call a spouse or significant other before just showing up to visit. Even if one is confident that a choleh wants one’s company, he may not wish you to arrive at certain times due to kovod habrios.
One should be mindful that the shechina is present by a choleh siman 335:3), and one should act accordingly. How awful is it to witness someone visiting another in a serious condition in golf-outing clothes?
We should not sit at the head of the bed (where the Shechina resides), and many do not sit at the foot of the bed either.
More importantly, the Maaver Yavok brings down (introduction) that one must enter the room not in a state of gloom and dread, but of confidence and with an upbeat nature.
The person you are visiting knows you care by your visit; he need not also be informed of his condition by your face.
In addition, one should be mindful that one’s family may be keeping certain information from the patient (see Tzitz Eliezar 10:27;25, inter alai), and should consider speaking to them before a visit. I recall once how a nurse shared dire information with a patient who did not know yet that his situation was that critical. We must be vigilant to avoid this.
The Rema rules (335:4) that if one visits a choleh and does not daven for them then they do not fulfill the mitzvah. However, one should be careful not to scare the choleh with their teffilah. I always share this halacha with the patient, “The halacha is that we must daven for your recovery upon a visit. This shows our bitachon…”
Too often the people in our communities who need visitations the most are the least visited: the almanah, the ger. While visiting our close friends is an important mitzvah, visiting someone who may not be expecting it may make an even greater impact.
Often times, as a rabbi, I will enter the wrong room. I am sure I am not alone in this happening. Instead of just saying ‘I’m sorry’ and then leaving, one should stop for a few minutes and be mevaker the choleh, even if they are non-Jewish. The idea of visiting a non-Jewish choleh is codified in Shulchan Aruch (335:9). In addition, this will make a wonderful kiddush Hashem.
Do not tell the family that you know a great doctor or another hospital that is great.
While such advice has its place, it should be b’tznius, carefully, and through someone else close to the family first.
Bring something innocuous that the family may need: some snacks and drinks, toys for children.
And, finally, I have found that sitting and learning a little with the patient is a great elixir.
While Torah mustn’t be used as medicine, it may be used to cheer someone up.
It also a reminder that one’s refuah –ultimately– resides with the riboneh shel olam.
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