Author: Moshe Taub

  • Pets in Halacha: Part 1

    Pets in Halacha: Part 1

    May One Put Their Pet ‘Down’?

    Jan, 2019

    There is little yeshiva can prepare a rav for when it comes to certain questions. A telephone shailah that I received last week is a perfect example of this feature of the rabbinate.

    “Rabbi, I need your guidance” the women on the other end of the phone began. Through her tear-choked and shaken voice, she continued. “I know there is some debate regarding end-of-life issues and euthanasia, and I need to know if I need to follow the advice of my doctor”

    Such calls cause one to sit up straight, pay close attention to every word, and daven to Hashem to save the rav from michshol.

    She then got to the thrust of her shailah.

    “My dog is seventeen years old –quite old for any dog, especially this breed. She has not been eating for the past few days and the doctor (her veterinarian) says that she is dying and in severe pain. He asked me to bring her in so that they can have her placed in an animal hospital and make her comfortable in her last days.”

    Relieved that the shailah did not involve a human life, I responded sincerely, “I am so sorry to hear about your dog. Can you please explain what precisely your shailah is?”

    “Well, I don’t trust these doctors. They say that they only wish to make her ‘feel comfortable in her last days’, yet I know that they will probably just euthanize her. Is that allowed? Don’t we believe that every moment of life is precious (chayay she’ah)? What should I do?”

    Although al pi kabala one should not destroy any living thing –even a blade of grass-for no reason, it goes without saying that the heady concept of chayay sh’ah is unique to human life.

    Aside for the fact- as we shall soon see-that there was a modicum of a real shailah involved in her question–the last thing a rav should ever do is to laugh at or be cynical or snide toward any question or questioner.

    Perhaps we are familiar with the story said over of the Beis Halevi, when an older woman knocjed on his door in a state of panic.

     “Rabbi, I think my cat just licked her from her milk bowl, and I was planning on serving him meat for dinner. What should I do? How long must he wait?”

    His talmidim began to snicker. But the Beis Halevi asked for a few minutes so that he may retire to his study and review the shailah. Upon returning, he told her that the cat need not wait between milk and meat, as only Jewish humans must, and she may serve the cat the meat dinner.

    Upon her departure from his home, the Beis Halevi strongly reprimanded his students, explaining that one is to never laugh at anyone who comes to a rav with a shailah! Aside for hurting the feelings of another Jew, there is another matter to keep in mind. Coming to a rav when one is in doubt about halacha is both precious and fragile. Precious, because it through this act that mesorah is kept alive, and respect for where psak comes from is maintained. Fragile, because people often one is unsure if they know enough to even ask a question, fearing that they may be wasting the rav’s time. Should indeed this cat-owner be made to feel insecure in her knowledge, or not worthy of the rav’s time, then the next time she has a genuine and severe shailah she may think twice about asking. He then explained that it was for this reason that he asked for a few minutes to chazar her ‘shailah’ – so as to counter their scoffing, so that she should feel confident for the next time.

    The self-evident truth is that people feel very close to their pets, and I am not alone as a rav in having received hundreds of pet-shailos over the years. Some of these were fascinating questions, and some quite common.

    I could write a (small) book dedicated only to my ‘rabbinic animal stories’, and will share with you in this and the next column some of the more interesting tales and shailos that arose in this arena over my tenure.

    As to the initial question of euthanizing a pet, this actually touches upon an interesting discussion, and is a more common shailah brought to rabbanim than one may think.

    In a well-known teshuva, Rav Yechezkal Landau (d. 1793) discusses the following case (shu’t Noda B’Yehudah, tanyana, y’d #10). A man inherited a sizeable swath of land, which included a forest in which a great number of indigenous animals and creatures were found. Would the owner be allowed to take advantage of this by hunting these animals for sport?

    Although the Noda B’Yehudah concludes that hunting for sport is something a Jew should not be involved in, he also writes the following:

    “Rav Yisroel Isserlein (known as the Terumas Hadeshen, d. 1460; this source can be found in his Pesakim V’Ksavim, siman 105) writes that so long as there is a human need or benefit then there is no tzar baalei chaim {see also Rema, eh’e 5:14}, but also, that this prohibition of tzar baalei chaim is only activated when causing tzar while alive, the act of killing any types of non-human living things, however, is never tzar baalei chaim. And so it is alluded as well in Chullin 7b….”

    In other words, there is no direct issur in killing animals (although, as Noda B’Yehudah and others point out, there may sometimes be an issue of baal tashchis).

    Surprisingly however, not everyone agrees with this ruling. The Shita M’kubetzes (Bava Basra 20) brings from the Ri Migash (d. 1141) who states that killing an animal can indeed sometimes fall under the rubric of tzar baalei chaim. The Shoel U’meishiv (tanyana 3:65; d.  1875) rules the same and marshals as evidence the sefer hachinuch (mitzvah 440) who explains that one of the reasons behind the mitzvah of shechita is the humane nature in which the animal is killed. In other words, during the death of (any) animal one too must be cognizant of tzar baalei chaim.

    I would add another source for concern. The sefer chasidim amazingly writes (#589), “So that no one should have difficulty in Hashem’s allowing the slaughtering of kosher animals –(asking) “Is He not concerned for tzar of His creations?” -that He created a world where we witness animals eating other animals”.

    Still, so long as the euthanization is being done in a benevolent way – the drug pentobarbital is often used to put the animal to sleep and then to put it to death –it would likely be muttar according to all views.

    We see that her question was not ‘silly’, and indeed opens up a fascinating discussion.

    Nevertheless, as we shall see next week, some pet owners may go too far, and often seek rabbinic approval for things out of the bounds of halacha.

    For Part 2, search: ‘Pet Peeves’ Pets in Halacha, Part 2

  • Dikduk & the Rabbinate

    July, 2017

    When it comes to dikduk I have found two groups –those fastidious about getting it right, and, those that have little patience of the first group.

    As a rav I have to make both groups happy while always with the goal toward the correct pronunciations.

    This is not always a simple task.

    My first years in rabbanus I soon came to recognize how important proper dikduk was to many members, and how deeply some were offended when I would slip. Some delighted in informing me how my errors were signs, in their eyes, of a lack of focus on these matters in traditional chinuch. They were wrong, I would explain, as many of our gedolim are/were masters of dikduk, rather I was just a poor student.

    Several years ago I mentioned in this space something-or-other to do with the dor haflaga in parshas noach. A few weeks later I received a letter in the mail from a reader. He informed me, nicely and with wonderful research, that it is not pronounced haflaga, but rather hapalga.

    “It couldn’t be!’ I thought to myself, “Doesn’t everyone say haflaga?”

    It turns out that not only was he correct, but after checking chumashim which have nekudos placed in Rashi (where this phrase is used -see Artscroll, Rashi 10:28 and 10:8, and their Midrash Rabba ad loc. 32) the talmidei chachamim editors often pronounce it hapalga –like this writer insisted!

    But here is the rabbinic conundrum –

    The other week I was delivering a derasha on parshas noach.

    Always being mindful to use proper didkuk, I remembered that letter and referred to the generation of the dispersion not as the dor haflaga –but rather the correct, although rarely used pronunciation hapalga (as the hei is not a part of the root; hap’laga would also be correct).

    Thinking that this will make the ballei didkuk happy, it instead only confused the masses.

    I’ve had the same result when I tried to pronounce the daughter of Pharoah correctly as Bisya and not Basya. While correct (see Divrei Hayamim 1:4), it causes everyone’s focus away from the real topic and only fetches confusion and murmuring. (Bisya is the biblical name for this princess, however when naming a baby with this same root today we doindeed pronounce itBasya, as explained by Rav Chaim Kinievsky. See also Vayikarei Shemo B’Yisroel).

    So what is a rav to do?

    Well, just this week, the gemara in daf yomi was discussing issues surrounding the dor haflaga/hapalga. I mentioned to the shiur all of the above and was then excitedly shown by several in the group how the Artscroll gemara (Sanhedrin 107a note 50) struggled with these same questions. They there write that although the likely pronunciation is in fact hapalga (or hap’laga), so as not to confuse the reader away from the popular pronunciation, they made the editorial decision to use haflaga.

    As a point of related interest, and so as to remind them that no particular group should be falsely defined as having little lashon kodesh expertise, I then shared with my group that as the Modern-Hebrew language was being formed, Eliezar Ben Yehudah and the other acutely educated secularists charged with its formation, often turned to the extraordinary gedolim living in Yerushalaim at the time to help with certain words and phrases found in chazal (see “Guardian of Jerusalem” Artscroll, pages -322-330).

     Because a language was being partly invented, the endorsed linguists had no choice but to be precise in their word choices and meanings as they are found in chazal and tanach, and who better to turn to than the men who devoted their lives to studying those very words.

    The famous leader of the Agudah in Israel (pre-state) Rav Moshe Blau recorded in his memoirs how his father-in-law once stopped in the middle of a shiur to step outside because he heard that Ben Yehudah was waiting with a question as to the proper translation of the word amim found in a gemara zevachim. He explained to his students –who were no doubt shocked at his interrupting his shiur for this man –that “It is a Kiddush hashem for a Yiddish speaking rav to explain to Ben Yehudah the meaning of a Hebrew word that he, the famous Hebrew lexicographer, could not fathom” (ibid.  p.323, footnote).

    But as complex as translations are, dikduk is a far more intricate arena.

    Like the English words address, contrast, present and project, lashon kodesh has many, many words who’s meaning utterly changes upon where one places the accent, where one stresses the syllable.

    The story goes that a mechanech complained to Rav Moshe Feinstein regarding why, as this mechanech saw it, yeshivos are not focusing more on proper dikduk. This concerned him, he explained, because parts of teffila and tanach can potentially be misread if one misunderstands proper pronunciation.

    Rav Moshe is purported to have humorously responded, “Dikduk? Don’t you mean, dikDUK!” By correctly stressing and accenting the last syllable, Rav Moshe was showing that even those passionate about this subject often misunderstand their intense rules.

    This story is similar to another. Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld, the rav of Yerushalim during the critical pre-State years, also had many dealings with Ben Yehudah. An amusing tale is recorded (ibid.)  where Ben Yehudah directly challenged the chinuch among chareidim being delivered in Yiddish and not Modern Hebrew.

    “Is there not a promise, recorded in the Talmud Yerushalmi, that anyone who lives in eretz yisroel” and speaks lashon kodesh is guaranteed a share in olam habah?” asked Ben Yehudah.

    Although on friendly terms, Rav Sonnenfeld responded sharply.

    Ben Yehudah countered to the sharp retort by saying in Yiddish “What kind of shtussim are you saying?!”

    Rav Sonnenfeld smiled and said, “You mean, ‘shduyot’!”

    Even how to pronounce a yeshiva’s name has entered into the fray. The online encyclopedia Wikipidia keeps on record not just the finished edit of each page, but one can also discover the dialogue and discussions that went into each choice and omission.

    The page on the Lakewood Yeshiva – Beth Medrash Govoha –has a most telling back-and-forth between a few lay-editors.

    It begins calmly enough discussing the transliteration of the term ‘gevoah’:

     -The grammatically-correct transliteration of the Hebrew גָּבוֹהַּ is GOVOAH. NOT GOVOHA. (Just like נֹחַ is Noach, not Nocha)

     -You’re right about the grammar, but the {English transliteration is not meant to reflect the Hebrew, per se, and therefore the} name of the school is ‘Govoha’.

    -I’m not so sure you are right, as Noach has no nekudah in the Ches while Govoha does have a nekudah in the Heh.

    But this dialogue soon turns back into that unfortunate myth about bnei hayeshiva:

     -But while we’re on the subject of Hebrew grammar, the correct Hebrew word for study group is ‘chavurah’, not ‘chaburah’ as it is called many times in the article. The latter term (“chaburah”) means injury or wound. Well, the yeshivah world tends to be rather ignorant of and oblivious to Hebrew grammar, in general, and here you have just one more telling example

    -It’s Aramic not Hebrew.

    -Mmmm… seems unlikely. Could you cite a source for that, or an example from a recognized (pointed) Aramaic text, please?

     -I did take the time to search for one, Pasachim 86b.

    – clearly you were offended by something I wrote. So sorry, I sincerely ask your mechilah.

    Seems the bnei hayeshiva did have it right all along!

    We all must be careful with how we pronounce certain words-especially by laining and davening, and, we all could use a little improvement. However, let not our fidelity to dikduk cause hurtful words and broad characterization of certain groups either. That type of error in speech is far worse than a mistaken accent.

  • Birchas HaGomel and a ‘Negative’ Psak

    Understanding When To Say ‘Gomel’

    October, 2018

    Someone calls the rav and proclaims, “Rav, I need to bentch gomel!”

    The rav asks what happened.

    “Well, my pants fell out of a three-story window”

    The rav does not understand the significance of this event and inquiries, “Why would that obligate a bentching of gomel?”

    The shoel is incredulous, “Because, rabbi, think about it: I could have been in them!!”

    This is not to poke fun, chalila, rather to show that people desire to thank Hashem; to have something to say to express their gratitude whenever they see hashgacha pratis in their lives.

    It is often the most difficult ‘No’ a rav has to sometimes pasken.

    When asked gomel questions, more often than not, while always a fascinating and wonderful story of hasgacha pratis, it does not reach the level of requirement needed for this special beracha. In fact, so particular are the halachos as it relates to gomel, that often the answer will hinge upon if the questioner is an ashkanazi or a sefardi!

    We are focusing this week on this issue for good reason.

    B’chasdei Hashem, in hundreds of columns dedicated largely to life in rabbanus, I have had the occasion to discuss many issues that touched upon halacha. The research that goes into every source of such discussions is, of course, scrupulous. But what the reader may not know is the painstaking focus of the editors on every sentence, as it should be. Every word is weighed, as Ami recognizes how even a comma can make all the difference.

    Baruch Hashem, it pays off.

    Once an article that happens to touch upon halacha goes to print, I receive wonderful correspondence from poskim and talmidei chachamim. The mareh makamos that they share, and the friendships formed through this space, has been priceless, and a tremendous zechus.

    So it was with some regret that a recent column –whose focus was ironically not halacha –led, I believe, to some confusion. Indeed, I have heard from several readers asking for some clarification.

    In a story about ‘positive perspective’, I mentioned something that I witnessed –a woman bentching gomel due to what others would consider negative events in her life. To protect her identity – and so as to not touch upon sensitive matters – I did not get into some of the specific details of her illness, rather I focused on what she decided to share about her experience; specifically, how she framed a summer of horror into a summer of Thanksgiving.

    In particular, many readers contacted me asking if a sakana that might have come, but did not, would be enough to make this beracha. To be sure, and as we shall see, most poskim would not require a gomel in such a case.

    Nevertheless, an elucidation into this fascinating topic is now apt.

    Much of our teffilos are replacements for korbonos. Gomel is no exception. While the beis hamikdosh stood, one would offer a korban todah to thank Hashem when saved from a dire situation, and gomel comes to replace this korban todah (see shu’t Chasam Sofer oh’c 51 who explains the limits of this comparison between the todah and gomel).

    In fact, the Chasam Sofer (ibid.) explains that it is for this reason that we strive to have this beracha be recited by an aliyah. In addition to being a time where a minyan present is guaranteed -as it is best to say this beracha with a minyan, although, if one knows that a minyan will not become available in the proper timeframe from the incident he may say it without a minyan, Mishneh Berrura 219:8 – the Magen Avraham teaches (siman 272) that an aliyah to the Torah is analogous in itself to the offering of a korban, making the todah/korban analogy complete.

    Chasam Sofer goes on to explain that for this reason one should stand during the beracha, like by a korban. Others explain that the reason we are to stand is because gomel is similar to a hallel (Elyah Rabbah)!

    While the korban todah was not an obligation per se -rather a mtzvah – there is a significant debate if gomel is indeed a full-on requirement or not (see end of shu’t Minchas Yitzchak 4:11 in detail).

    However, the question that confounds most is just what is considered a dire situation that would obligate this beracha?

    Rav Yehudah in the gemara (Berachos 54a) teaches that the pesukim in Tehillim ch. 104 allude to four categories: someone saved from sea, the desert, sickness and prison.

    Sefardim generally follow a very strict fidelity to these categories, and would not make this beracha for any other type of danger –although sometimes the separate beracha for a ness would be required(‘…she’aseh li ness ba’makom hazeh’).

    (NOTE: The beracha for a ness is a separate and complicated topic, as is its distinction from birchas gomel. The reader is directed to Piskei Teshuvos 218:10 for a wonderful treatment of this issue, and where he clearly explains the uniqueness of each of these beracha, and where hedifferentiates the circumstances behind each).

    Although a lenient and limiting view, this sefardic approach does lead to stringencies, in that situations that do fall into the above four categories (say, traveling on the sea) would require a beracha even with minimal or no danger. Of course, a sefardi should speak to their rav, as these halachos, according to some, relate differently to modern ships and vessels.

    Ashkanzim, on the hand, understand this Tehillim source to be non-descriptive, but rather comparative in nature, and that any real comparable danger would indeed require this beracha, for example a wall falling on someone, escaping a lion, certain incidents of being accosted by robbers at night (Shulchan Aruch siman 219:9, first view; see Igros Moshe 2:59)

    In addition, while sefardim would make this beracha even by a more far-fetched sakana, ashkanazim make this beracha only when the sakana was at hand and not just a potential, save for the four actual categories mentioned in the pesukim where even ashkanezim may be required in a beracha although no sakana was apparent (see first Biur Halacha in siman 219; see the discussion in the poskim relating to gomel and plane travel, e.g. Igros Moshe ibid, Halichos Shlomo 23:5, Minchas Yitzchak 2:47, Tzitz Eliezar 11:14, Teshuvos V’Hanhagos 1:193, inter alia).

    As for which type of illness recovered from would require this beracha, every case is different and one should speak to a competent rav after any surgery or recovery from serious physical or mental illness and episodes.

    Because it is a sensitive moment when I tell someone that their story, while mesmerizing, does not fall under the rubric necessitating this beracha, I recommend that they read the pesukim of the korban todah, this way they feel that they are offering something as a way of giving thanks (see Shulchan Aruch Harav, basra, 1:9).

    To end, let us note that gomel has something in common with a bris mila, in that they both require a response from the kehilla witnessing these acts. By a bris chazal tell us to respond to the other’s mitzvah by proclaiming “kshem sheninchnas la’bris ken yikaness…”, and by gomel the Shulchan Aruch rules that are we are to respond to another’s beracha with “mi sh’gemalcha kol tov…”.

    Perhaps the connection is the tethering of hishtadlus and bitachon. We all need to do our part to serve Hashem, and bris mila is the most public reminder of that ideal, but at the same time must be cognizant that at the end of the day it is hakadosh baruch hu on Whom we all need to rely.

    Let us continue to respond to these moments, surrender to Halacha when it is not their time and place, and await the arrival of moshiach when the beracha Sheheciyanu (along with five or so other berachos) will be said.

  • Ashes and Invocations: A Speech in Albany

    Ashes and Invocations: A Speech in Albany

    June 2016

    “On a daily basis, Shul Rabbonim listen and see families living paycheck to paycheck and struggling with the high costs of tuition”, explains Yehuda Friedman, Associate Director of Synagogue services for Long Island and Queens for the Orthodox Union.

    This is why, he explains, the idea percolated to have “Rabbonim from across New York State travel to Albany to share the stories with legislators about the tuition burden facing their community”.

    This past March Ami reported extensively on this OU mission to Albany in support for additional yeshiva funding. Jake Adler, director of government affairs for Teach NYS, explains further. “The teach NYS mission to Albany this past March was a classic example of what our community can accomplish together. This was the largest mission to Albany that our community has ever undertaken and it made waves. When the community mobilizes -together, for a common cause, elected officials and policy makers notice and our families benefit”

    They could not have said it better. While rabbanim are offered to go on many missions and to untold conferences, there is simply not enough time to attend many. However, for this trip a significant number of rabbanim from Queens felt that this was a cause worthy of showing support for not just from the pulpit but in person as well.

    And indeed, the mission was met with some successes; an additional five-million dollars in funding in yeshiva STEM funding.

    I mention the above so as to give what comes next some context.

    A week before the trip, one of the members of my community, David Weprin, himself an Assemblyman in Albany, approached me with an interesting opportunity.

    “I hear you will be going to Albany on this mission. How would you like to do the invocation?” He was referring to the speech the opens the session in the New York Assembly.

    If the reader is wondering what exactly an ‘invocation’ is, here is the definition as given in the Merriam-Webster dictionary:

    1a :the act or process of petitioning for help or support; specifically,  often capitalized :a prayer of entreaty (as at the beginning of a service of worship)

    1b :a calling upon for authority or justification

    2a formula for conjuring

    In short, an invocation is when a person-often a member of the clergy-opens up an otherwise non-religious event with a prayer and a focus on grander priorities.

    While I have had the opportunity to present invocations in the past (at secular dinners, etc.)  I have never done so in such an official and important setting.

    In preparation, I spent a little time reading a few invocations of others, and realized that I would have to actually read my speech –something that I was not used to doing. To be clear, one does not have to read their speech, rather that to be presented in the most respectfully prepared and clear manner, this is what almost all before had done.

    That morning in Albany, I quietly left the other rabbanim and schools that came to the State capitol to be taken to the actual chambers.

    Just the walking to get there was an experience, what with underground tunnels and elevators and even more security than I was expecting.

    On the final elevator ride down to the bowels of the capitol building, I saw another state legislator who seemed to have dirt on his forehead. Being a kind gentleman, I was just about to inform him of the stain on his head. Thankfully I realized in the nick of time that this was far from an accidental stain –rather that day happened to be ‘Ash Wednesday’, when religious Christians have ashes placed on their forehead.

    I was not nervous yet for my speech, but that was about to change. I was brought not just inside the chamber –a room with what seems like a 500 foot ceiling – but placed on the dais, seated together with two other high officials about twenty feet above-and facing-the other legislators.

    This I was not expecting. Nor was I anticipating an official introduction to who I was etc.

     By the time it was my turn to open the session I was very, very, nervous.

    Walking up to the mike, I needed to break the tense feeling (that only I felt).

    Although I was not planning on opening with a joke (obviously) I said:

    “Only in New York would our greatest house allow a rabbi to perform the invocation on what happens to be Ash Wednesday –what a diverse and free state!”.

    This got a wonderful laugh and applause.

    With that I was able to read my invocation with ease, presented below:

    “A-might Gd, Creator of heaven and earth. We open today with profound gratitude from our hearts and the deep thanksgiving of our souls, for our democracy.

    “We beseech You, Oh Gd, that we as a people, and we here today as leaders of peoples, shall never tire nor take for granted this gift and blessing of our Freedoms and Democracy, the gift of this Country, these United States of America, and its state, the greatest and most diverse of all in the Union, The Great State of New York!

    “We entreat You, Oh Lord, that You protect her and guide her. We plead with You, the One and Only Gd, to bring peace of mind, health and clarity of vision to:

    “Our Speaker, Carl Heastie; Majority Leader, Joseph Morelle; Minroty Leader Brian Kolb. And special mention to my own Representative, Assemblyman David Weprin.

    “For our dear Governor Andrew Cuomo, we pray for Gd’s Grace to shine through him, for, as our Talmud teaches, You, Gd, lend from your mighty throne cherished charm and potential power to our leaders.

    “May Gov. Cuomo continue to use these gifts for the betterment of all denizens of this state. May You shine unto Gv. Cuomo only good health, strength of spirit and the continued ability to be guided by Your Light.

    “May these hallowed halls, and all of its duly elected members, be protected always, be a lighthouse to all citizens of this State.

    “As someone who has been blessed with the good fortune to serve as a rabbi upstate in Buffalo, and now Downstate in Queens, and to have traveled and traversed her valleys and mountains in my field of Kashruth, from its farmlands to the metal jungles of her glorious cities,

    May we so find:

    “That from southern corner Richmond County to the northern tip of Clinton County, From Chitaqua to the West and Saratoga and Washington Counties to the East, and all of her counties in between, only unity where there is unholy divide, fine commonality from within our differences, and our shared humanity in our various backgrounds.

    “May your decisions here today be wise and guided by the values of those that came before us, so that we may bequeath to those that come after the same bounty we received.

    “May we always remember that we are all living in some distant futures past.

    “May Gd protect this great state, and bless us all, forever and always Amen!

    And then, my biggest surprise came two weeks later, when I received a check in the mail from the Assembly paying me for my speech! What a great State indeed!

    I handed the check to my wife and jokingly said, “We better declare this in our taxes, I fear it may be a trap!”

    May HKBH indeed bless our state and our country so that we may continue to thrive here in Torah in peace until moshiach’s arrival.

  • Rabbis and Their Discontents

    Rabbis and Their Discontents

    The Rabbinate, Its Stress, & Its Reasons

    In a 1985 article, Commentary Magazine wished to tackle the subject of Rabbinic Stress. Stumbling this week upon this thirty-year old column, I laughed aloud upon reading the following:

    “Leslie R. Freedman, a clinical psychologist who had recently completed a nationwide study…Basing himself on interviews as well as on answers he had received from 1,342 rabbis to a questionnaire containing over 220 items, Dr. Freedman concluded that rabbis suffer from unusually high levels of stress. Whereas, for example, men living within a twenty-mile radius of Three Mile Island during the month following the accident at the nuclear reactor there scored an anxiety level of 0.983, and the general male population at the time scored 0.915, rabbis scored 1.104. What was more, they seemed to score that level of stress continuously (the level at Three Mile Island dropped off shortly to that of the general population). What was still more, Dr. Freedman revealed in a minor but significant finding, 30 percent of the rabbis he studied felt that their wives would prefer them to be in another profession.”

    More stress than workers at a nuclear plant?! More stress than workers at a nuclear plant immediately following the worst nuclear-reactor meltdown in the history of the United States?! How can this be true?

    In a couple of weeks, we will be returning to our summer series on the early history of rabbanus in America. Last year we saw the early stages of the American-made Conservative movement, and those that saw early the movement for what it was, and how valiantly they fought against it. Sadly, its creators did not see what these gedolim saw: an unsustainable future.

    The above Commentary article, and the poll it quoted, was targeting a different type of ‘rabbi’ –those outside of the daled amos shel halacha, now 100 years since their American birth (Reform Judaism, of course, began earlier in Germany). However, even they, at least thirty-years ago, felt that culture was getting ahead of faith. The thesis of the article is that rabbis were becoming victims of the age they lived in, their temples so poisoned by a pervasive culture that the rabbi could not even recognize their jobs anymore, or even themselves. Hence the stress.

    In one telling the story, the writer records an event he witnessed. Soviet Jews wished to celebrate on Simchas Torah and, of course, the police in Moscow declined their request.

    A Jewish Federation president in a New England town somehow convinced the the local television station to film Jews freely celebrating Simchas Torah in the United States, even dancing in the streets, contrasted with their brethren behind the Iron Curtain.

    There was one hiccup, the news division was booked solid the week of the yom tov and requested that they ‘stage’ this event instead, about two weeks before.

    The Federation president quickly and enthusiastically calls the local conservative rabbi sharing with him this wonderful opportunity for exposure, and the ability to shine a light on what is going on in the Soviet Union for the average American gentile.

    The rabbi, to his great credit, was aghast. Torah scrolls are not props! We do not take them out of the Ark unless there is a true need. Besides, he opined, this will not even have a marginal effect on the circumstances upon which we are seeking to shine a light!

    He also, wisely, argued that far from a positive message to his congregants, this would send the wrong message to the young generation, “reinforcing their belief, already too strong, that TV was more powerful than anything else, including the ancient proprieties of the synagogue”.

    Enter the ‘stress’ factor. The Federation head was none-to-pleased. He went behind the rabbi’s back and called the president of the synagogue. The next day the rabbi’s president called him into a meeting. “Listen, rabbi. I already called the young men of the shul and arranged for them to meet me with the Torah scrolls, all you have to do is show up.” He went on to say how awful it would look should the rabbi refuse to involve himself with a community project such as this, which was apparently happening with or without him.

    The rabbi got the message, which could not have been made clearer: if you want to keep your job, you will show up to this staged event.

    The story, and the article, ends with the sad yet perfectly expected result, encapsulating so much of what has happened to modern American Jewry:

    “The rabbi showed up, and performed on cue for the cameras, capering about with a Torah scroll on the wrong night of the week. Several days later, on the real night of the holiday, he looked in vain around the synagogue for the young people; they were at home, waiting to catch a glimpse of themselves in five seconds of film on the local news.”

    Are we impervious to these challenges? In talking with colleagues, we often discuss rabbinic battles lost, or those not waged. Their frustration, or ‘stress’, does not come from the battle itself –after all, if it was a halachik matter then they would speak to poskim before agreeing to acquiesce.

    Rather, their frustration comes from the fact that not everyone is aware of the rabbi’s discomfort. By the next generation, or sooner, what was once a painful choice becomes status quo, and sometimes, virtuous. Some will point to the past and say, “It must be fine, even good, for Rabbi X allowed it!” The same applies to not only what the rabbi allowed, but with what he chose not to speak out against.

    Stress, indeed.

    In fact, this concern is alluded to in the words of the Mishnah in Pirkei Avos (1:11), “Chachamim Hizaharu Bidvareichem!” Be careful with your words – For you may be exiled to a place inhabited by evil waters; The disciples who come after you will then drink of these evil waters and be destroyed”

    The rishonim understand this Mishneh to be referring to issuing rulings in either education, halacha or hashkafa. Upon hearing a ruling –sometimes necessary –that was designed for a particular group, others may soon assume that it is lichatchila.

    While we are already ‘exiled’, we must be carful to bequeath to the next generation a lichatchila system, and by expressing clearly when a descion made was temporary in nature.

    Former Chief Rabbi Lau in his brilliant six-volume work on pirkei avos brings a wonderful insight: The opening Mishanh teaches us that Moshe kebel Torah from Sinai. Moshe in turn transmitted it (mussar) to Yehoshua, and Yehoshua mussar to the Zekainim, etc.

    There is difference between giving someone something (nossan) and lending someone something (mesira/pikadon). Moshe was given a gift from Hashem, a gift for all of Israel that he was to transmit.

    But we do not own it.

    It is given to each generation on loan (mussar). And like any pikadon, we can do with it as needed-within the confines of Halacha –but on one condition:  we must make sure that it is returned in the exact same state in which it was received.

    This is no small challenge.

  • One Story – -Two Versions

    The following story is famous. In the 1700’s in Vilna, rumors began to spread about one of the chashuvim in town. Although he pleaded his innocence, he was up against witnesses who supported the story’s veracity.

    Somehow, the Vilna Gaon became involved and asked to meet the eidim.

    The witnesses sat before the Gaon and each began to retell the events in question.

    The Vilna Gaon was silent throughout, until both witnesses completed their respective telling.

    Once done, the Vilna Gaon stood up and exclaimed, “Liars!”.

    Having the Vilna Gaon himself making such a declaration was enough to scare the witnesses into admitting the truth –they had in fact been paid a large sum to fabricate their story.

    Knowing that ruach hakodesh has no place in a din Torah (as ‘Torah Lo Bashamayim Hi’), some time later the Gaon’s students asked their rebbe how he knew that these were false witnesses.

    The Gaon explained his rational based on a Mishnah (Sanhedrin 5:4). In discussing the procedure of testimony in a beis din, the Mishnah teaches, “After, they bring in the second witness and examine him. If they find that their words are aligned, they then open the arguments for a possible acquittal…”

    The language of “im nimtziu devarim mechuvanim –if they find their words to be aligned” are peculiar. Either the testimonies of the two witnesses match, or they do not. What does the Mishnah mean by saying “if the court ‘finds’ them to match”?

    Explained the Gaon, the Mishnah is teaching us an essential reality of the human condition. No two people see and repeat the same events the same way.

    A beis din therefore must ‘find’ the commonality between the witnesses. However, if eidim come in and their words are aligned to such an exactitude that the beis din need not ‘find’ the matching parts of their testimony then we may suspect that they are lying.

    The witnesses that came before him, the Gaon explained, had just such an exactly harmonized testimony, and that is why he alleged foul play.

    This story came to mind the other week.

    Before orientation at Shevach High School where I teach halacha, one of the teachers approached me and asked if I could stay behind at the end. She explained that she needs to bentch gomel and her rav told her to gather ten women and one man to allow her to make the beracha. Would I mind, she asked, to stay and to explain at the end of the conference what she was about to do.

    I would be remiss not to quickly add here, and without getting into the detailed specifics, that women, for a number of reasons, should always speak to their morah horah before saying this beracha. Not the least of which being that there is significant debate if women should even bentch gomel at all. In any event, this particular teacher’s rav was following the view brought in the Mishnah Berrura 219:3 (cf. Aruch Hashulchan ad loc.; see Teshuvot V’Hanhagot 1:195 for the view of the Chazon Ish).

    When the meeting was over, the men, who were mostly rabbanim, quickly piled out, with the women, largely staying behind to catch up.

    I stood by the door awaiting the beracha to commence when this teacher stood up and first explained the story behind her beracha.

    Over the summer she was having an issue with the family van. Bringing it to the mechanic she was told that there was some type of hole on the carriage. Several days later she was not feeling well and, in the early months of a pregnancy, she rushed to her doctor.

    She was quickly rushed to the hospital where it was determined, R’l, that the baby was no longer viable.

    That evening her condition grew worse and worse and she davened to Hashem that her pain go away, and it did.

    I was listening to this story and feeling both awful for what she had gone through, but also desperate to understand just why she was bentching gomel. First she had the frustration in spending thousands of dollars on her minivan, and then, nebech, the unspeakable happened.

    But then she recapped the events, “So, first Hashem saves my family from a car problem. The mechanic explained that this hole could cause a huge fire. Imagine! We drove the family around in that van the entire summer without knowledge of this danger and nothing bad happened. And then, after Hashem decided that I was not to have this baby, I was able to get to the hospital in time, and He took away my tzar when I davened.”

    I could not believe my ears! Had these events happened to most other people rather wish to offer a toda to the Riboneh Shel Olam, they might wonder what they did wrong to deserve this.

    How many of us would have even trusted what the mechanic was telling us about the danger? Instead, many of us would have cynicly focused on the high price of fixing it, ignoring his dire warnings as simple alarmism.

    A few days later a close friend of mine who dedicates his life to chinuch and Torah – a young man with a large family – woke up on Shabbos morning without the ability to speak, and largely paralyzed.

    He had suffered a shocking and major stroke.

    Boruch Hashem, he arrived in the hospital in time for life saving and stroke-reversing procedures.

    As I was wondering why Hashem would bring such tzar on such a tzadik, my wife saw this story differently.

    She commented to me, “I always wondered where all the zechusim go for people who dedicate their lives for the tzibur, if it is reserved just for acharei meah v’esrim…”

    As she was speaking, I nodded my head in agreement, thinking that she too was wondering why Hakadosh Baruch Hu would bring such a shock on such a special person and family.

    But I was wrong. She was, rightly, praising Hashem. She continued, “…but now I see that even in this life too does Hashem give so many gifts to such people. Shabbos morning at 5am he could not move or talk, and now just three days later he was back in shul! Amazing! Chasdei Hashem!”

    Who knows the cheshbonos of Hashem-but would not life be more enjoyable if we could see the positive in everything?

    With yom tov season over, and we return to our regular lives, we have a choice to make. How will we recount the stories of our day, our lives?

    We all davened for a sweet new year on Rosh Hashana; we begged for our lives and for parnassa and nachas on Yom Kippur; we strived for simcha as the touchstone of Sukkos.

    However, even should Hashem grant us all of this this coming year, that would not be enough to collect it – unless we must create in ourselves a keli, a receptacle to collect this shefa!

    Hashem may grant us much nachas from our children, but if we do not see their positive features, what use is Hashem’s gift?

    Hashem may indeed grant us parnassa, but if we focus only on others and on what we do not have, we indeed will still feel poor.

    He may grant us beracha and gezunt, and cause for simcha, but if we close our eyes or look in another direction we may just miss it. We may feel down when we should be dancing in the streets!

     Let us see this year through the eyes of the grateful, and maybe, just maybe, we will discover that all of our teffilos had been answered.

  • Knock-Knock

    Knock-Knock

    The Ushpizin In Our Lives

    September 2015

    One Never Knows Who is Knocking at Our Door

    We all have secret and mysterious visitors from time to time.

    Sukkos is the perfect time to share surprising stories and amazing events involving sudden and unexpected guests.

    Indeed, after the Zohar (emor) teaches us about the seven ushpizin, he then states that the food ‘set aside’ for them should be given to poor guests, for one can not sit in the shade of a Sukkah and not also help the needy.

    However, this is just the tip of the iceberg. One of the earliest recorded and most celebrated moments of ‘guest-hood’ is when Avraham invites three strangers into his home. According to many, although visited often by melachim, in this case Avraham and Sarah did not know that these were angels, rather they thought these were simple orchim (Rashi, 18:16 s.v. lishalchem).

     The gemara (Rosh Hashana 11a) teaches us that this event took place on Sukkos.

    But the correlation does not end there.

    The midrash (Bamidbar Rabba, 14) interprets the pasuk (Bereishis 18:4) “…v’hishu’uh’nu tachas ha’etz –and (you shall) recline beneath the tree” as referring to a sukkah that Avraham had built in honor of the chag! (See shu’t Seridei Eish 2:53 who questions how mitzvos dependent on past events could have been observed before they even happened)

    The meforshim understand this midrash literally, as both the Avnei Nezer (likkutim, p. 131) and Rav Chaim Kinevsky (Taamei D’kra, Vayeira) seek to discover how an attached tree would have been kosher for Sukkah useaccording to halacha.

    With the above in mind – some stories.

    The Longist Shachris

    Last year, at around this time, my shochein tov in this magazine, Rav Mordechai Kamanetzky shlita, asked if I would speak to his talmidim at yeshivas South Shore. It was the then 15’th anniversary of 9-11.

    Try as I might, I can not recall that words that I spoke, but I do remember with great clarity the words spoken by another presenter that day.

    Eli Polatoff, is a leading Hatzalah member in the Five Towns, and was an individual who arrived at the scene of the Twin Towers almost immediately. He shared the following amazing story –which he heard from someone who was there.

    Every morning across from the World Trade Center there was a minyan for shacharis. This allowed these individuals a quick walk after davening to their offices in the WTC.

    This was not a known or advertised minyan, and every day the same dozen or so people –and only them –would arrive.

    One idle Tuesday morning a stranger, oddly, showed up. He asked for the amud as, he explained, he was in aveilus.

    As he rose to lead them they realized, or thought, that they had made a huge mistake. This fellow was schlepping out the selichos. He drew each word of supplication and, later, he did the same throughout the davening.

    We have all been in these shoes before. We roll eyes, share knowing glances with our friends at the minyan, as if to say: look at this guy, ‘Mr. Frum’ who is going to make us all late for work.

    Indeed, they were alllate for work that morning. I am sure your guessed it, it was the morning of 9/11/2001.

    That man saved their lives.

    Over the past 15 years each member of this private minyan has searched for this mysterious visitor to their minyan –one of the only visitor they ever had.

    They have yet to locate him. He was never seen or heard from again.

    The Chasam Sofer’s Guest

    The Chasam Sofer was had an unusual hakpada. He would only make a beracha if there was someone there to answer amein.

    Late one evening the Chasam Sofer woke up with a aching thirst.

    He went to to fill a cup of water, and then searched his home to see if there was anyone awake who could respond to his beracha.

    Nobody was.

    As he was contemplating what to do, there was a sudden, and light, knock at his door. He opened it to find one of his prized talmidim standing there.

    “I am so sorry to bother rebbe. I knocked softly so as not to wake anyone, as I was hoping rebbe would still be up learning.”

    “Go on” replied the Chasam Sofer.

    The bochur continued, “I was troubled by a deep concept that rebbe related in shiur this morning. Try as a might I simply can’t fathom it, and I simply can’t relax until I understand this bit of Torah. Can the rebbe explain it to me one last time?”

    The Chasam Sofer could not have been more delighted. “With pleasure! But, please, first would you do me a favor? Please answer amein to my beracha.”

    And so, the Chasam Sofer received his amein and the bochur his explanation.

    The next morning after shachris, the Chasam Sofer went over to the bochur to thank him.

    “You probably were nervous knocking softly on my door so late, but I want you to know how much I appreciate it. I was musing the halachic allowance of breaking a neder of not saying a beracha without an amein, and then you showed up!”

    Confused, the bochur looked at the Chasam Sofer and said earnestly, “I have no idea what rebbe is talking about. I did not come to rebbe’s house last night and indeed slept through the night”!

    Three Cities-One House

    If my wife did not witness this next story, nobody would believe it.

    Several years ago two young single women from Maryland were coming to Niagara and wanted to know about accommodations for Shabbos. My wife, not wanting them to stay in a strange hotel alone, invited them to spend Shabbos in our home.

    Sitting down to the seuda Friday night I asked what they did for a living and how they knew each other. They explained that they both taught in a frum girls’ high-school and were on break. Both being single, they decided to combine their resources and go on a trip together.

    We talked a little about teaching in general and their school in particular. The guests became very passionate. They explained that the main job of a teacher – especially one in limudeo kodesh – is to forge relationships outside of the classroom and teaching.

    One teacher gave the example of a particular girl-who is going through some challenges-with whom she is struggling to build an outside the classroom relationship. Her mission for the year is to build a bond with her.

     Now, Friday night, in the midst of a Shabbos meal, a knock on the door of the rabbi’s house is usually a sign of an emergency. So I was alarmed when during the soup someone was at the door.

    Standing there was a young man in his twenties and his sister. The man explained the strange events that brought him to my house.

    He was driving with his sister from NY to Toronto for Shabbos. Due to a confluence of events their trip took longer than they had planned and they realized that they will not be making it before Shabbos.

    As the sun was about to set they got off of the highway and pulled into the first hotel they found. With no food or provisions for Shabbos, they pulled back the curtain in their room see a sign across the street that said “Young Israel of Greater Buffalo”, along with davening times and the name of the rabbi.

    They ran to the front desk, asked for a phone book, found my name and address, got directions and…here they were looking for a hot Shabbos meal!

    What a zechus!

    Could there be a better example of true orchim?!

    During this time that I was by the door, my wife and house gusts were continuing the seudah, none the wiser to the amazing story of hashgacaha pratis they were about to hear.

    But soon, I too would be stunned.

    Inviting our new guests into the dining room I announced, “Everyone! You won’t believe this siyatta d’Shmaya…”

    As our new company walked into the dining room the eyes of one of the teachers met the eyes of the young lady. Both of their mouths fell to the floor. After what seemed like days of awkward silence, I asked “Do you two know each other?”

    “Yes, she is my student!” Later the teacher explained further: when she was opining about the need to develop a relationship with students outside of the classroom, it was this particular girl that she had in mind!

    If we open our doors to our homes and minyanim, we can never know who Hashem will cause to come through!

    The correlation between Sukkos and guests runs even one fascinating step further, in that it was the merit of hachnasas orchim that we were gifted with this chag.

    The midrash (Berishis Rabba, 48) teaches that Hashem said to Avraham, because you told the three orchim “…and (you shall) recline beneath the tree”, therefore I will repay your children…in this world with the yom tov of Sukkos!

    The midrash ends that it will be this very merit of hachnosos orchim that will alight in the time of Moshiach, as it says (Yeshayahu 4:6) ‘and a ‘Sukka’ (i.e. Tabernacle) for shade…”

    May we merit to perform this great mitzvah, and seethe gifts and stories that it brings, and be zocheh to reap from its ultimate reward.

    Chag Kosher V’Sameach!

  • Another Sefira Secret

    Why Did Only Rebbe Akiva’s Yeshiva Suffer from Sinas Chinam Issues?

    Something happened over Shavuos. Should I tell you about it? Although the yom tov has already passed, I think I will.

      One of the more challenging elements of writing a weekly column is that one must write about the yom tov before it arrives. However, once that yom tov issue already arrives on store shelves and in people’s mailboxes, invariably over that given yom tov sudden stories develop, intriguing events unfold, and curious happenings take place. So often, by the time the next year comes around those stories are long forgotten. For this reason, I am always challenged if I should share stories from yom tov in the post yom tov issue.

    But Shavuos may be different. Nesinas hatorah can never be bound by time, and for this reason, explain many, does the Torah never itself refer to this day as yom matan toroseinu; for Torah is given, or ready to be received, daily. Perhaps this gives us the allowance to talk about Shavuos still after its days have passed.

    I was walking home from shul on yom tov when someone approached me with a question. It was such a simple question, but like many seemingly basic inquiries, it was one that was also so profound.

    We know that the days of sefira not only count toward shavuos, but also remind us of the deaths of 24,000 students of Rebbe Akiva due to their not treating each other with proper respect. While this certainly reminds us that the Torah is not simply a book of laws to be studied but a way of life to be lived, there was something that had been bothering him about these events.

    There were many yeshivos in the day of Rebbe Akiva, so why is it that only his yeshiva suffered from this deficiency? Why don’t we find this problem in the other yeshivos of the time? What was it about this yeshiva in particular that caused this sickness?

    This is one of those questions that seem so simplistic at first blush that one may be tempted to brush it off with a quick answer, like I tried to do.

    “Well, this was such a special yeshiva that it may have caused the talmididm to have too high of a self-worth” I first suggested.

    “But in every generation-going back to Shem and Eiver, there have been many special and unique yeshivos, and we do not find that those students suffered from this yetzer hara” he rebutted.

    I said I would think about it. And I did. Throughout yom tov I continually returned to this question in my mind. But each time that I would come up with a suggestion I would quickly realize its inherent weakness, only to start thinking about it again.

    On the second day of Shavuos I was reviewing a famous gemara in Nedarim (50a) that tells us of the amazing life of Rebbe Akiva. After leaving his wife to go learn forfor 12 years he returns only to realize that she would be willing to give more years. So as not to make his leaving difficult, he heads back to yeshiva right away. Another 12 years pass, this time he returns to town with 24,000 students in tow.

    I read the gemara again just to make sure that I did not misread what I saw.

    Could it be? Did I just discover what was unique about his yeshiva?! Rebbe Akiva built this yeshiva during the time he was away from his wife and family.

    It is important to learn Torah from one’s Rosh Yeshiva, and to learn middos from him as well. But when do you see the Rosh Yeshiva interact with a co-equal? When do you learn to emulate how he acts? And, through this, how to speak to your chavrusah, your friends in the dormitory? If you are like many, it is when you see how your rebbe interacts with his family, his spouse and those in his life.

    Rebbe Akiva, of course, did nothing incorrect. He led his yeshiva with dignity and grace, and taught them every day that v’ohavta l’rayacha kemochah is a klal gadol b’Torah. However, his was a unique yeshiva as it was formed, as the gemara relates, away from the rosh yeshiva’s wife.

    His talmidim never had the opportunity to witness his interactions at the Shabbos table.

    When I told this approach to my congregant he was elated, but I was frightened. It reminded me that as a rav most of my teachings would not come through powerful sermons, rather by what the shul will witness with their own eyes; how I behave, how I treat my co-equals.

    I was reminded of the story of Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach who while walking home with a talmid arrived at his home. Before entering he made sure to clean his beard and wipe his suit clean. The student remarked to his rebbe that he was likely doing this because he wished to look proper for his rebbetzin.

    Rav Aurbach responded that while that was a part of it, the ikar reason for his cleaning his clothes is because chazal teach that when there is shalom bayis in a home the shechinah itself dwells therein, and he was prepapring himself to greet the shechinah!

    Imagine the impression that made on this student!

    In honor of this year’s Shavuos issue we dedicated this space to demonstrate the mysterious origins of some of the more common maxims among the Jewish people.

    Many of these were mistakenly thought to be taken directly from chazal. There is another type of phrase used equally as common, and that we know do not stem from chazal. Often these are in Yiddish, and just as often reveal a nation steeped in Torah and its ways.

    One of these is the minhag among many to call last week’s Shabbos (parshas nasso), the Shabbos after Shavuos ‘shabbos nuch shavuos’- the Shabbos after Shavuos.

    We do not find this expression after Sukkos or Pesach, only Shavuos.

    Why?

    Some explain this phrase (Kol Mevaser) that since we know that the Torah was given on Shabbos we wish to remember this fact with this statement.

    Many others explain based on the gemara (Chagigah 26) that the multitude of olei regalim were shown the miraculous lechem hapanim on Shabbos chol hamoed. Since Shavuos does not contain a chol hamoed they would show this ness to am yisroel on the Shabbos nuch shavuos. 

    The late Lubavitcher Rebbe explains this phrase based on a statement found in the Rambam. At the end of seder ahava Rambam lists the order of teffilos and gives us the language of yaaleh v’yavo for chol hamoed “pesach, sukkos and shavuos”. But shavuos has no chol hamoed! Rather the week of tashlumin after Shavuos must then carry mamesh the same weight as shavuos itself, and for this reason do we give the Shabbos and week after this unique phrase.

    However, the sefer Divrei Dovid, from the son of Reb Yisroel of Razdzin gives us another, beautiful, explanation for this expression.

    The Yiddish word ‘nuch’ can be ‘after’-causing this axiom to be translated innocently as ‘the Shabbos after Shavuos’. However, the word ‘nuch’ can also mean something else: ‘still’. With this translation, the phrase really means something quite intriguing: ‘the Shabbos that is still Shavuos’.

    It is for this reason, says ‘Pardes Yosef Hachodosh’ (Nasso, first entry), that the midrashim on parshas nasso and the parshios to follow are longer than those on any other parsha –for the influence of Shavuos does not fade, our rededication to the Torah that we embraced on Shavuos does not falter, and our endearment to His code only grows stronger after this yom tov, all this causes an expansion of our understanding of the Torah for weeks to come !

    Hopefully, in addition to learning about this phrase, I have also given myself permission to talk about one small incident that took place over shavuos, an incident that re-enforced my, and every rav’s job as a teacher of Torah.

  • Disaster Clean Up

    A Message for Rosh Hashanah

    September 2015

    I recently shared with my kehillah the following remarkable exchange released by the Reagan Presidential Library:



    April 18, 1984
    Dear Mr. President,
    My name is Andy Smith. I am a seventh-grade student at Irmo Middle School in Irmo, South Carolina.
    Today my mother declared my bedroom a disaster area. I would like to request federal funds to hire a crew to clean up my room. I am prepared to provide the initial funds if you will provide matching funds for this project.
    I know you will be fair when you consider my request. I will be awaiting your reply.
    Sincerely yours,
    Andy Smith
    400 London Pride Road
    Irmo, South Carolina 29063

    The president soon responded:

    May 11, 1984
    Dear Andy:
    I’m sorry to be so late in answering your letter but, as you know, I’ve been in China and found your letter here upon my return.
    Your application for disaster relief has been duly noted, but I must point out one technical problem. The authority declaring the disaster is supposed to make the request—in this case, your mother.
    However, setting that aside, I’ll have to point out the larger problem of available funds. This has been a year of disasters: 539 hurricanes as of May 4th and several more since, numerous floods, forest fires, a drought in Texas and a number of earthquakes. What I’m getting at is that funds are dangerously low.
    May I make a suggestion? This administration, believing that government has done many things that could be better done by volunteers at the local level, has sponsored a Private Sector Initiative Program, calling upon people to practice volunteerism in the solving of a number of local problems.
    Your situation appears to be a natural. I’m sure your mother was fully justified in proclaiming your room a disaster. Therefore, you are in an excellent position to launch another volunteer program to go along with the more than 3,000 already under way in our nation. Congratulations.
    Give my best regards to your mother.
    Sincerely,
    Ronald Reagan

    A humorous exchange, it also serves as a perfect analogy for the period in which we find ourselves.

    At this time of year I always think back to how messy my room was when I was a child. Every Tuesday I would be told to clean up my room, the bathroom, the playroom. When I asked my mother why she was extra-strict about clean-up on Tuesdays, she explained, “Because the cleaning lady is coming.”

    This made absolutely no sense to me. Clean up because the cleaning lady is coming? But when I got older, I understood that it is demeaning to leave someone else to deal with a pig sty. Workers are human beings, and this is not how we treat people.

    Similarly, lahavdil, we have a promise that Hashem is going to help clean up our mess—“Itzumo shel Yom Hakippurim mechaper, the awesomeness of the day atones (for us).” But we first need to clean ourselves up as best we can and not “leave” the entire job for Hashem.

    When I read this correspondence between Andy Smith and President Reagan, I was reminded, l’havdil, of the midrash on Eichah that speaks of a similar exchange between klal Yisrael and the Ribbono Shel Olam regarding teshuvah (Eichah Rabbah 5:25).

    The penultimate pasuk of Eichah, recited aloud by the kehillah, reads, “Hashiveinu Hashem eilecha v’nashuvah, bring us back, Hashem, and we will thereby be returned.” The midrash says that Hashem responds by assigning us the responsibility of taking the first step: “Shuvu eilai v’ashuvah aleichem, you must (first) return to Me, and only then will I return to you” (Malachi 3:7).

    This midrash explains that there is an ongoing “quarrel” in which klal Yisrael asks Hashem to take responsibility for coming toward us first, and He responds that we must initiate our own return before He comes toward us.

    Who wins this debate? Who is ultimately charged with beginning the clean-up?

    It would seem at first that klal Yisrael triumphs, because the midrash ends by quoting a pasuk in Tehillim (85:5) supporting our request that Hashem take the initiative.

    But perhaps during Elul, this changes. As we know, the Mishnah Brurah notes (in the name of many others) that Elul is an acronym standing for “Ani l’dodi v’dodi li.” This is not just a nice idea but reflects the fact that ultimately, we must take the first step—“ani l’dodi”—and only then “v’dodi li,” Hashem will assist us.

    Just how far must we go before Hashem assists us?

    Rav Yerucham Olshin cites an amazing idea explained by Rav Isser Zalman Meltzer (Yerach L’moadim 1, p. 235). The Torah teaches that Bisyah, Pharaoh’s daughter, saw Moshe in a basket in the river, “vatishlach es amasah, and she sent her handmaid (to get it)”(Shemos 2:5). Rashi says that amasah refers to her arm, which miraculously stretched far enough that she was able to take hold of the basket.

    Rav Isser Zalman wonders why Bisyah reached out in the first place if the basket was beyond her reach. He says this teaches us that a person must make every effort to do the right thing, no matter how impossible it seems, and Hashem will take care of the rest.

    Just a few Shabbosos ago, thousands of frum families in Florida were displaced when Hurricane Irma barreled in. They took responsibility for their lives by fleeing. And then the Jewish people came through. In the city of Atlanta alone, more than a thousand families were hosted for that Shabbos.

    Hashem will always help us figure it out. The “dodi li”will always come—if we first do our part.

    We live in a challenging era. It is harder than ever to grow in our avodas Hashem. How can we promise that we will change when we know the power of nisayon? As Bisyah did, we are asked to do something—at the very least, to take the first step.

    It is said that Rav Shneur Kotler once accepted a halfhearted apology from someone who had behaved brazenly toward him in public. His shocked students asked, “But Rebbe, look what he did!” Rav Shneur explained that when someone takes the first step and apologizes, even if he is not fully sincere, it should be enough for us to complete the rest.

    The Gemara teaches that anyone who says, “Ashuv va’echteh, ashuv va’echteh, I will sin and repent, and again sin and repent,” is not allowed to repent. I saw a beautiful chasidishe pshat on this that translates the phrase differently. Sometimes a person thinks, “Every year I say I will do teshuvah, and then after the Yomim Tovim I sin again, so what’s the point?” A person like this will not be granted teshuvah since one who questions his potential can’t grow.

    All Hashem asks is that we take the first step in our return and “clean up” a little.

    May Hashem respond to our efforts a thousandfold and grant all of our tefillos. Wishing everyone a chasimah vachasimah tovah!

  • Dates, Segulos & War

    Dates, Segulos & War

    May, 2025

      On June 12th of 2014, three Israeli teenagers – Eyal Yifrach, Gilad Shaer, and Naftali Fraenkel, Hy”d – were kidnapped in the West Bank. To find them, the Israeli army launched a sweeping search mission, named Operation Brother’s Keeper. Unfortunately, the search ended tragically when, on June 30th, their bodies were discovered in a shallow grave near the town of Halhul.

        Before they were found, a rumor had been circulating that Rav Binyamin Elyashiv (son of Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv) had performed a goral haGra regarding the whereabouts and status of these missing teens. In order to confirm this rumor, I contacted him directly the week of parshas korach 5774.

        After confirming that he indeed did perform this goral, he then shared that he based himself on the mesorah from Rav Aryeh Levin, his grandfather.

         He was referring to a celebrated incident Israel’s War of Independence.

       It was a confounding time, and the young Elyashiv family had to move out of Meah Shearim and into the home of Rav Aryeh Levin, their grandfather (Rav Yosef Shalom’s father-in-law).

       Tragically, Rav Binyamin’s youngest sister Leah – just a year-and-a-half old – was killed by a Jordanian missile shell.

       Soon, news spread that thirty-five soldiers, who were sent to help secure Gush Etzion, were ambushed and killed, hy’d. The army was able to recover all the bodies, however, twelve of them could not be identified in a way to distinguish who was who, Hashem yeracheim.

           Rav Tzvi Pesach Frank was approached as to what to do; how they should go about kevura for twelve these soldiers. Rav Frank suggested that a goral hagra be implemented. However, he refused to perform this himself and rather urged that that it be done by Rav Aryeh Levin.

       And so it was.

        After lighting candles and saying certain kpitelach of tehillim, Rav Aryeh stood in front of each of the twelve unidentified caskets. By the first casket, they arrived at a pasuk was from Yehoshua (21:4), which refers specifically to the tribe of Binyamin… by a goral! This grave was considered to be of Benjamin Bogulavsky.

    {In truth, this was not the very first pasuk of teir goral, as they first performed a goral just to see if they were correct in what they were doing –they were!}

     They stood by the next casket and came to a verse from Shmuel (I, 9:21) where the term ‘ben yemini’ is found. This was used to identify Oded ben-Yemini!

    This continued for the rest of the identifications (The details of this event is recorded in many sefarim. For an accessible recounting, the reader is directed to the popular A Tzadik In Our Time, pgs. 162-170, as well as its Hebrew edition, p. 111-117).

         So, Rav Binyamin Elyashiv had a clear mesorah as to how to perform such a goral.

          I then asked him the question that was then on everyone’s mind: What pasuk his goral arrive at?

     In response, he became energetic, and quoted the pasuk (shoftim 15:14):

     “He [Shimshon] came to Lechi and the Philistines shouted at him, A spirit of Hashem came over him and the ropes that were on his arms became like flax that had been singed in fire; his bonds melted from upon his hands” (translation follows Artscroll).

         Not only is the pasuk a reference to being taken captive, but also has the Philistines shouting with excitement over their prisoner. When I commented that such diseased excitement is something that was pathetically then happening in real time, Rav Elyashiv also expressed amazement.

     The town lechi where Shimshon was taken was only named so due to the miracle with the jawbone (lechi) that was about to take place, making the true name for this town a mystery. I therefore wondered aloud to Rav Elyashiv if the town of ‘lechi’ mentioned in the pasuk is a reference to Chevron, as some of the reports regarding Rav Elyashiv’s Goral HaGra assert.

       Rav Elyashiv responded by quoting some peirushim who indeed say so.

       However, he then gave me a stern warning. Not only was he not comfortable asserting any meaning to this ambiguous verse – as this verse could also indicate negative news -but such assertions can be damaging.

      As we now know, his fears proved correct.

       I often repeat this story as a warning to those who assert the koach to declare predestined victories theorugh remez.

         This came to mind again last Wednesday, the 22nd of sivan, when many were speaking of similar messages.  

    Here is an example of one message:

    “Historic call to the Jewish people: …Tomorrow, Thursday, June 19th, is 23rd of sivan-the day King Achashveirosh accepted Esher’s request allowing Jews to defend themselves against our enemies. This marked the beginning if the turnaround of Purim. And on this same day, in our generation, we once again see Hashem turning in favor of Israel….”

        It’s all very tempting, as the story of Purim indeed took place in present-day Iran.

          And, who knows? Even though we now know that noting visily took place last week, perhaps something occurred on that day that will lead to an ultimate salvation.

        However, as Rav Elyashiv shared with me a decade ago, we must always weary of ‘predictions’, or that we are on the level to decipher such codes.

        Many chashuvim were careful not to do so, and only to said that this is a day to give thanks to Hashem and daven that something similar happen.

    When I was newly married, my in-laws lived in Toronto. Their neighbor

    was Rav Reuvein Chinn, whose father was the renown rav in McKeesport, PA. Each sukkos, showing kavod to Rav Chinn senior, Rav Shmuel Kamenetzky would stop by the Chinn’s, and my wife and I would go to their sukkah to greet the rosh yeshiva.

        It was there that I asked Rav Shmuel if the following story was true.

    When his father, Rav Yaakov, was a rav in Toronto there was man who

    kept his store open on Shabbos. One Shabbos morning, Rav

    Yaakov was surprised to first see that this man’s store closed and  to then be greeted by him in shul.

       The man explained that he had to close his store this week, as a

    certain mekubal in Yerushalaim said moshiach was arriving this coming

    Tuesday!

    Rav Yaakov is purported to have responded, “Of course, we hope for

    moshiach every day, achakeh lo b’chol yom sheyavo. And, maybe he

    will come this Tuesday, maybe even before and maybe, sadly, after. But I can assure you that even if moshiach arrives on Tuesday, it will have nothing to do with this ‘mekubal’”

      The man took his rav’s words to heart, and upon taking in this information, he got up, took off his tallis, and left shul to open his store.

         They asked Rav Yaakov, “Why would you dash his hope? He was

    finally observing Shabbos?!”

    Rav Yaakov explained that even though this man has thus far failed in his nisayon for paranassa and working on Shabbos, so long as he believes in the core tenants of yiddeshkeit there is always hope for his complete return.

    However, if the reason he now chooses to close his store is only because he is certain moshiach will arrive on Tuesday, then what happens if challila moshiach doesn’t show?

      We then risk that he will lose all faith, even in basic tenants, thus shattering any hope of his future return!

        Rav Shmuel confirmed this story and shared that he was the one who asked!

        As to Haman and present-day Iran:

    Many wonder why Mordechai waited seventy days request a second letter declaring that Jews may defend themselves. Haman was hanged on the sixteenth of nissan, and klal yisroel was still in turmoil over the upcoming gezeira, so why wait?Rav Yonasan Eibishitz adds that there was no guarantee that Mordechai and Esther would have such palace opportunities again, or even be alive, so delaying this request until the 23rd of sivan seems inexplicable(Yaaros Devash, 1:17)?

       Many answers are offered (see Maharal, Ohr Chadash 8:9; Ralbag, 8:3; Shevet Mussar; Ahavas Dovid (Chida) drush 5, et al.)

         Since we mentioned the goral of his name, we will conclude with the Gra’s approach: By waiting, the very same people who delivered the first decree were available to deliver the second one. This would destroy any doubt as to the veracity of this second letter – from both Jew of Gentile.

       In this regard, may we have a similar end to this conflict-crystal clear to all parties that innocent blood being shed will be tolerated no more.