A Special Shabbos, With Special Children, & Their Special Rebbe
June 18, 2018
Writing in the Washington Post six years ago, acclaimed and Pulitzer Prize winning columnist George Will shared the following very personal op-ed, about his own son Jon.
“When Jonathan Frederick Will was born 40 years ago the life expectancy for people with Down syndrome was about 20 years.
“The day after Jon was born, a doctor told Jon’s parents that the first question for them was whether they intended to take Jon home from the hospital. Nonplussed, they said they thought that is what parents do with newborns. Not doing so was, however, still considered an acceptable choice for parents who might prefer to institutionalize or put up for adoption children thought to have necessarily bleak futures. Whether warehoused or just allowed to languish from lack of stimulation and attention, people with Down syndrome, not given early and continuing interventions, were generally thought to be incapable of living well, and hence usually did not live as long as they could have.
“In 1972, people with Down syndrome were still commonly called Mongoloids.
“Now they are called American citizens, about 400,000 of them, and their life expectancy is 60. Much has improved
“Judging by Jon, the world would be improved by more people with Down syndrome, who are quite nice, as humans go. It is said we are all born brave, trusting and greedy, and remain greedy. People with Down syndrome must remain brave in order to navigate society’s complexities. They have no choice but to be trusting because, with limited understanding, and limited abilities to communicate misunderstanding, they always depend on the kindness of strangers. Judging by Jon’s experience, they almost always receive it.
“This year Jon will spend his birthday where every year he spends 81 spring, summer and autumn days and evenings, at Nationals Park, in his seat behind the home team’s dugout. The Phillies will be in town, and Jon will be wishing them ruination, just another man, beer in hand, among equals in the republic of baseball.”
I saved that column when it was published. Beyond chochmas hagoyim, it should galvanize us that if the beauty and complexity of baseball can be shared with such special members of society, then we as am yisroel have an obligation to imbue in them the majesty of Torah to the best of their-and our-abilities.
Which brings me to this past Shabbos.
Mincha, erev Shabbos, began as usual, with seats still waiting to be filled as many were still making their way to the early minyan, or were perhaps waiting to bring in Shabbos later.
But by the time I finished my shemoneh esreh I could feel a crowd of people forming behind me. I could sense that something was different about this group, as I would soon discover by their response to the first boruch hu u’boruch shemo, and amein of the chazaras hashatz.
There’s was brash response, almost disquieting, yet powerful nonetheless.
As a reflex, I turned around to see the group that had arrived. I was informed that this group would be joining us, but I just was not prepared for their teffilos.
This year is seeing the completion of the first school year of the Mekor College Experience, run out of the Wilf campus at Yeshiva University.
Rabbi Uri Feintuch, their rebbe and leader of the program lives in Lakewood NJ and had joined us for Shabbos together with his group of seven very special neshamos.
Mekor is a specialized program for those with intellectual disabilities, from Down Syndrome to Autism.
While I usually speak following kabalas Shabbos, it was arranged that one of the boys in the program would speak.
I have heard and read about Rabbi Feintuch and his program, but was still surprised when one of his students, a young 20-ish-year-old man with Down Syndrome, was introduced. I was even more surprised when I witnessed him take out a folded piece of paper and slowly, and deliberately read a dvar Torah that he had prepared himself on the parsha.
Writing to Rav Chaim Pinchas Sheinberg, Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach (Minchas Shlomo 1:34;4) discusses the importance of and the requirements in the chinuch of such special members of klal yisroel. Rav Moshe Feinstein (see Am HaTorah 5752, p. 10-13) also discusses this issue and obligates us to teach them Torah to their abilities.
Rav Moshe (ibid. p. 12) also beseeches shuls and kehillos to accept such people bsever panim yaffos and to help them answer in the appropriate places.
And, even if they are not able to learn or daven, they will at least “kiss the sefrei Torah” in shul, writes Rav Moshe.
But these students, from this program, were not limited to only kiss the Torah, or simply answer amein yehei shmey rabba, they also asked for quite when those around them began to schmooze.
Even more, this past week they made a siyum on the third perek of gemara Sukkah!
By Shalosh Suedos Rabbi Feintuch introduced another one of the students to speak. Before he did so, he gave a brief background regarding what this program seeks to accomplish.
Aside for davening and learning, the program also teaches them functionality (how to handle money, etc.) and, in their third year, will seek to have a job-placement program. In short, his wish is that each one of these boys should feel, and be, as much as a member of society as the rest of us.
He shared with me how he prepares for his shiur with the boys with his chavrusah in Lakewood, and allows the boys to listen to their chavrusa shaft (that he records) so that they can even experience how a shiur is prepared!
He concluded his public remarks with the following idea. There is a klal -serendipitously we mentioned above from Rav Moshe as it relates to these boys-of greeting every Jew bsever panim yaffos. Now, we can understand what panim yaffos means –a smile, a happy face –but what does ‘bsever’ mean?
He quoted Rav Avigdor Miller who suggested that sever comes the root of sevara-logic. Chazal are teaching us a valuable lesson. It is not enough to smile on the outside, or even show love on the outside. Rather we must have a sevara, a rationality, why each and every yid we meet is special, deserves a smile!
These boys, explained Rabbi Feintuch, are not his chesed-project, rather they can be lifted up to be shown the grandeur of yiddeshkeit and the splender of the Riboneh Shel Olam.
If we had any doubts, the speaker he introduced put them to rest.
Mi K’amcha Yisroel, Goy Echad B’Aratz!
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