Part 1

      This week I had two early events on Sunday. They were the exact same event, celebrated by two different people, in two different areas of town. A former president of the shul was having a 75^th birthday party near Long Island, and, a noted askan was having his 75^th birthday party at one of his business propeerties. It is a product of our wonderful times that both of these men are full of vigor and still in their prime,  b’chasdei Hashem!

       Sitting at these events, I began to have a thought every rav would have: ‘What if they ask me to speak?’ What does one say, as a rav, on a birthday?

      Then, just three days later, it was my own birthday, and I was asked by many to give them a beracha.

     All of this led me to consider the sources for such an occasion.

1. Birthdays: A History

      It is often cited that the first reference to birthdays in the Torah is found in the fortieth perek of sefer Bereishis. Yosef tells his co-captives that his dream interpretations will be realized in three days’ time (pasuk 19). Immediately following this the Torah states, “Behold, on the third day, it was Pharoah’s birthday, making a feast for all who served him, among them, releasing the sar hamashkim and the sar ha’ophim” (pasuk 20).

     Rashi there shares that the term the Torah uses is the most proper pronunciation for a birthday:‘hu’ledes’. This is the verb cognate titled hofal, a passive verb in the causative form. This is because a birthday has two conditions met: the passivity of the event, and the fact that people were there to make it possible/easier, such as one’s mother, midwives, a doctor, etc.

    However, some wish to prove from the fact that this practice of celebrating a birthday is found Pharoah as evidence that it is not a Jewish concept (see, e.g. Otzar Kol Minhagei Yeshurin 14. He also testifies that for this reason Rav Yitzchak Elchonon even refused to be honored in Kovno at a celebration marking his fiftieth year in rabbanus).

     According to this view, what would be the reason behind the Torah’s negative view for such commemorations? The Aderes (Nefesh Dovid), explains that to observe such a day may be seen as an act of conceit and vanity, as one is essentially asserting that one’s birth has been vital to the world, that their very existence is reason to rejoice. Unless one is a tzadik, this should not be done.

I would posit a simple proof to this argument from chazal (Eiruvin 13b) where the gemara concludes that it would have been better had Man not been created.

     However, many others make the opposing argument, in defense of birthdays and their celebrations. For one, the midrash Socher Tov on the very pesukim quoted above records the custom of Jews celebrating the day of their birth. The present Sadigur rebbe expresses surprise that some would argue that we should avoid these events simply because reshaim in the Torah happened to also embrace them. After all, do we not find in the Yerushalmi (Moed Katan, 1:7) that the very notion of sheva berachos was first learned from Lavan?! (See his words in Mesilos, 5747) 

    Even the idea that Pharoah is the lone mention of birthdays, and their celebrations, is challenged. Rav Efraim Greenblatt brings a multitude of evidence that this is not the case at all (shu’t Rivevos Efraim 4:240 #7, bottom of first column). Some examples he brings: Chazal share the birthday of Moshe, Yitzchak -expressing the koach of such a day in both cases (e.g. Megilla 13b and Nazir 14a, and Peskita 6:25 where we are taught how Hashem saved the construction of the mishkan for the period of Yitzchak’s birth, etc.)

     He also quotes the Ksav Sofer who made a shehechiyanu on his fiftieth birthday (shu’t Ksav Sofer 145).

    Rav Greenblatt does end, however, with a potential caveat: “We see then that it is worthy for gedolim to celebrate their birthdays”.

    There are more sources for the idea of gedolim commemoration their birthdays. According to some, we read Rus on Shavuos as it is Dovid hamelech’s birthday (Rema 490:9), and chazal share that Rav Yosef made a celebration for the rabanan when he turned sixty (Moed Katan 28a).

      Some prove from this latter source that birthdays must be something akin to kodosh, as another gemara teaches that a talmud chacham mustn’t benefit from a seudas hareshus (Pesachim 49, with shu’t Beis Yisroel 32).

Then again, these are all sources concerning gedolim.

    Perhaps the most famous source for birthdays being a special day comes from a Yerushalmi (Rosh Hashana 3:8). Chazal there teach that reason for Amalek’s power against klal Yisroel was borne from the fact that the generals only sent the soldiers whose birthday was that same day, saying, ‘Not easily is a soldier killed on his birthday’. It was for this reason, in the end of parshas Beshalach, that Moshe had to lift his arms, as he was manipulating or thrawting the powerful mazalos aiding those on their birthday! (See also Yalkut, Chabakuk, 564).

    The Netziv alludes to this idea when he states, “On the anniversary of one’s creation, one is disposed to become strengthened (Emek Davar, Shmos 12:2).

     Next week, iy”H, we will bring more sources, as well as special segulos some bring for one’s birthday.

II. Happy Birthday?

      When I was a young boy, I became sensitive to the fact that adults do not look forward to their birthdays. Worse, it seemed, they dreaded its arrival, an effect which was a mystery to me. But, as I got older, I began to appreciate this uneasiness as a wicked brew of regret, anxiety, and the ever-clearer realization that this life is but a cholom ya’uf–a passing dream. My wife, on the other hand, has never allowed for such negative impulses to mar the simcha of another year lived, saying, “One should feel only hakaros hatov on a birthday. I’ve never had that feeling of apprehension as I get older”.

   Neverthelss, there may be substantiation to my side. The pasuk in Iyov states ‘ya’avod yom ivaled bo -would the day of my birth be obliterated’ (3:3). Following Rashi’s translation, as we have, Metzudos Dovid explains that Iyov was requesting that his birthday be dark and dreary, passing without notice, observance or pageantry.

     However, this likely has little connection to modern adverse reaction to birthdays, as Iyov’s blunt remark was due to the nonpareil wretchedness he was then experiencing.

      The Malbim takes Iyov’s comments about his birthday -and birthdays in general -even further, positing that Iyov was attributing the literal day of his birth for his presnt torment, musing that its very mazal/horoscope was the cause which had triggered all the bitterness that had befallen him. Such a view may be proof to the view that Iyov was not a Jew (see Bava Basra 15b). This is because we members of klal yisreol were assured ‘ein mazal l’Yisroel’; meaning that although mazalos/horoscopes are a powerful entity, klal Yisroel has the power to rise above it(Shabbos 156b with Ritva and the Ran to Moed Kattan 28a; see shu’t HaRashba 1:148). So, the fact that Iyov would attribute his agony to his birth-mazal would mean that either the Malbim held like Rav Chanina who argued (ibid.) yesh mazal l’Yisroel – even yidden fall under the jurisdiction of mazalos –, or, that Iyov was not a Jew. In fact, Rashi also mentions Iyov’s gentile pedigree, explaining that when Yehoshua and Kalev sought to placate a panicked nation after the spies’ return, they remarked to the nation that they had nothing to fear, as the one virtuous member of Cannan, in whose zechus they may have been protected, had deceased -Iyov. (Iyov had just died according to this interpretation; see Bamidbar 14:9 with Rashi).

     Consequently, for us today, both because we are yidden, and, because we trust that our mazal can change in just one shemoneh esreh (quote in the name of the Steipler), we need not -we should not -be depressed on our respective birthdays no matter our present circumstance(s).

III. Birthday Berachos

    Interestingly, the Chida in his commentary to Iyov (Chomas Anuch) uses this same pasuk as proof to: “…the idea the mekubalim say that on one’s birthday one’s mazal is at its strongest and healthiest of the year”.

The Ben Ish Chai finds a source to this idea in the famous gemara refarding an eighteen-year-old Rav Elazar ben Arzayeh whose beard turned white as a confirmation to his worthiness. He explains that such a ness could take place for him because it was also Rav Elazar’s birthday (Ben Yohiyaduh, Berachos 28b).

    The Magen Avraham makes a similarly observation. The Yalkut (to Chavakuk, #564) references a chazal found in the Yerushalmi which we quoted last week – that Amalek took advantage of this birthday mazal among their soldiers. In his commentary there, he explains that this would also explain a very famous mesorah (found in Rosh Hashana 11a) that it is a positive presage and a zechus for a one to die on their birthday, hinting to their tzidkus. He explains this chazal based on the power of birthdays: for one’s demise to take place when one’s mazal is at its peak must then, ergo, mean this was a zechusfor that person (Zayis Reanen see also Yaaros Devash 1:17 and Yom HaHoledes U’Mashma’aso, p. 9).

     All the above may help us understand the minhag Chabad and some sefardim -which is now prevalent with many others as well – to give out berachos on one’s birthday. Perhaps this is due to the fact that one’s mazal is robust and therefore their koach beracha is strong as well. Evidence to this can be found in the writings of Rav Elya Lopian where he posits that the the teffila of someone on their birthday had tremendous power. He finds an allusion to this from a pasuk in Tehillim (2:7) ‘…bni atah, ani hayom yiladticha –on this day you (Dovid) became my son; on this day I have begotten you’. Rav Wachtvogel, zt’l, the mashgiach of Lakewood, is quoted as urging the recital of Tehillim on one’s birthday, specifically 13 and 103 (Leket Reshimos, teffila, p. 217)

     Interestingly, while I have been unable to find a source for one to give out berachos, I did find a source that others hsuld give to the birthday celebrant a beracha. Rav Yisroel Lipshutz (d. 1860) wrote in his tzavah (ethical will; #6) “Behold I command each of my sons and daughters to write to their sibling on their birthdays transmitting a beracha of ‘mazaltov”.

IV. Birthday Cakes and More

Reb Moshe Freidman of Toronto shared with me that Rav Chaim Berlin used to send a fancy birthday cake every year to the Rav Shmuel Salant.
The local newspaper ‘Chavatzelet’ reported on February 1909:

“On the 2nd of shevat Rav Shmuel Salant celebrated his 93d birthday.
Gedolei Yerushalyim and dignitaries assembled in his house. One of the Gedolim said Chidushei Torah. Rav Chaim Berlin  (shlita) [zt”l] sent, as he usually did, a decorated fancy birthday cake with flowers & ornaments.  It was inscribed with cream the following words, ‘ki orech yamim ushnos chaim tovim v’shalom rav yosifu….’ (The gematria of the entire beracha is 5669 [1909])”.

     This is a fascinating testimony for a number of reasons. For one, the year before this event, the Aderes, Eliyahu David Rabinowitz-Teomim, was niftar. He was brought in to take the mantle of the leadership in Yerushalaim from the aging Rav Shmuel Salant. Sadly, the Aderes predecesased him (passing at just over sixty yuears of age). Secondly, the Aderes wrote harshly against birthday celbrations. Writing in his sefer Nefesh Dovid “How angry it makes me when people wish to celebrate the date of my birth and who wish to to then give me berachos…” going on to list some of the concerns we mentioned last week.

     Thirdly, is the fact that a cake was given to Rav Shmuel Salant. While a minority argue that certain elemts of birthday celbrations may fall under the rubric of chukas goyim, a cake, it would seem, would not. Indeed, cakes are something we make for all special occasions, from yom tov to having company.

V. Blowing Out Candles

The Kolbo (siman 118), written in the 13th century is  the first to mention a concern in blowing out a flame.

Perhaps a more ancient source comes from Otzar Hamidrashim (pirkei rabbeinu hakodesh). This concern is again repeated by the Reishis Chochma and the Ben Ish Chei, among other more    recent poskim and tzadikim.

Based on the earliest sources mentioned, blowing out a candle can lead to a very specific tragedy (nefeilah).

Some suggest that the concern is due to the fact that  the sound one makes when blowing is identical to a name of a specific malach.

Still others suggest that this concern is due to the fact that one’s neshama is compared to       a ner/candle. This last reason perhaps comes with certain leniencies: the concern would only be true for a candle and not other types of flames. I have since seen in Hegyonei Haparsha, Devarim, p. 763 where the author argues                       a similar position.

Rav Chaim Kinievsky (Derech Sicha p.282) gives a more  practical reason  for  the  concern  of not blowing out candles: candles used to be made from forbidden cheilev (animal fats) and there was a concern of getting too close to the forbidden substance when extuishing.

      Many bring an ancient custom of blowing out candles through overly pronouncing the first constanants of the words ‘Pesach’ or ‘Purim’! At the very least, we can see that this concern is a real one that is supported up until our generation, even in the classic poskim such as Rabbi Ephraim Greenblatt (Shu’t Rivvevos Ephriam 54:35) and Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfled (Shu’t Salmas Chaim, Page 213, siman 499 in the Bernstein ed.) and the Steipler Gaon (Orchos Rabbeinu; Cf. see Yabia Omer 9:95cf. Shu’t Noda Beyhudah, even haezer #79).

Perhaps we will return to birthdays in another post, in good health, iy”H!