Cremation: A Story & Chizuk

Should a Tahara Be Performed On Someone About To Violate Halacha?

Length/Detailed Post

January, 2017

I. The Greatest Chesed

Few precious physical things last forever. Prizes and awards, diplomas, even marriage contracts – they are all fated to fade with time, to be discarded or lost, and even to lose their value in the eyes of those to whom they are to be bequeathed.

Think of all the ‘stuff’ that existed hundreds of years ago, thousands of years ago; where did it all go? And, those priceless items that somehow, inexplicably, do manage to withstand the test of time and war and destruction are then destined to become the treasures of museums, galleries, and universities, gawked at and studied for generations to come. This is true no matter the significance, or lack thereof, that this particular ‘found’ item held in its own time.

Yet, even knowing this destiny of our most prized possessions, no one in their right mind would actively burn the above items at some point long after their origination simply because they will, in time, anyway become devastated by history.

That would be silly, disrespectful to one’s own accomplishments and what they represent.

And yet, today, when it comes to our human bodies so many opt for cremation instead of burial. ‘Why be buried when, ultimately, the body will decompose?’ they tell me. Citing additional reasons both silly (‘the environment’ –when in fact cremation is far worse for the environment than burial) or of convenience (‘visitation to a cemetery is often out of the way and difficult’- however, who, pray tell, will be watching this urn in 40, 70, 100 years?!), I have heard them all.

Sadly, I deal with this issue too often. In one of the first issues of Ami I shared a story of taking a family to court when they decided to deny that their daughter was a g’eoris and instead wished to cremate her, claiming her to be Catholic, R’l.

While to most readers of this magazine, cremation sounds anathema, this method is on the rise, and fast. In just five recent years (2010-2015) the cremation rates in the United States jumped close to 10%!

In 1979 the country of France had a cremation rate of 1%; today it is at 50%; the United Kingdom is now at 75%; Japan at 99%.

And what about North America?

According to CANA, a cremation society, in the United States the total rate of those who choose cremation is now close to 50%, while in Canada its closer to 70%. While most agree the rates in Canada are about that high, in the United States some put the rate closer to 35-40%.

It is an issue about which many rabbanim now need to be educated.

For instance, in the case of this young g’eoris who passed, it turned out that NY State law has a very specific and helpful provision, at least as it relates to autopsies, and perhaps cremation as well (NY State Public Health Law 4210-c)

This was enough to allow for a hearing before a judge.

I wrote, “Before the hearing, because this story could reverberate in the Catholic Church (“A rabbi vs. the Church!”), I thought it would be best to get support from someone powerful. Being that the family lived in Southern Ontario, Canada I called the Bishop of that region. At first I was nervous to make the call but then I realized that just as I had no idea how to talk to a bishop, this bishop, most likely, would have no idea how to talk to an orthodox rabbi.

“Mutually assured discomfort.

“The phone call could not have gone better (and we ended up giving her a kevuras yisroel).”

Since that time the Vatican has changed their tune on this subject. Just four months ago, the new pope sent out new rules relating to this subject, highly skeptical of cremation and outright banning certain practices linked to it. Reading the church’s remarks one is reminded of how much of their faith is lifted from us: “By burying the bodies of the faithful, the Church confirms her faith in the resurrection of the body, and intends to show the great dignity of the human body as an integral part of the human person whose body forms part of their identity”.

But the salient question is ‘Why?’.

Why are so many opting to physically annihilate the vessel in which they delighted in life? Why would they devastate a gift of such wonder and symmetry that does not, and never did, belong to us in the first place?

Well, in many cases, if not most, it comes down to cost.

Cremations can often be a savings of thousands of dollars. To wit, the court-case I mentioned above was not ‘won’ by us, per se, as much as it was dismissed after the family realized that our side was willing to pay for a burial!

Think about an elderly person in a non-Jewish nursing home facility. They pass without leaving a will and with no, or little family and almost zero resources. Do we think that such a meis will be given the dignity of a kevuras yisroel?  Indeed, such cases are becoming a daily tragedy, and the frum nursing homes must lead the way (some already are) in assuring that every resident signs a burial directive assuring a kevuras yisroel, or at least giving them the clear option (NASCK, see below, is at the forefront of this cause and any nursing home director reading this urged to contact their office).

Yesterday (of this writing) I had a meeting with Rabbi Elchanan Zohn, the head of the Queens chevrah kaddisha, and one of the leading rabbanim and askanim in the world when it comes to the observance of chesed shel emes, and who is the founder and president of NASCK, the National Association of Chevra Kadisha.

While every city has their own prominent chevre kadishe, to whom does that chevra kadishe turn when they need help, say getting a meis to eretz yisroel, or stopping an unnecessary autopsy? Very often they turn to Rabbi Zohn.

Even while I lived in Buffalo, New York I would call upon his expertise in moments of crisis. As I sat by the meeting the other day, calls were coming though from disparate places, such as North Carolina and Monsey, seeking his and his organization’s guidance and assistance. It was a wonder to behold.

I was meeting with him because I had a concern relating to these inyanim that was specific to Queens and it was not my place to deal with it alone before counseling with him.

Without boring the reader with that particular issue was, the conversation soon veered to cremation. He is now dedicating much of his resources to creating a system, in nursing homes and the like, to assure proper kevuras yisroel. Amazingly, NASCK recently opened the ‘South Florida Jewish Cemetery’, a land and project dedicating to ensuring that the many older Jews who live in that part of the country have access to a low cost burial option to compete with the ever growing cremation market.

This is an issue of such urgency, and one that rabbanim need to stress.

As our meeting came to a close, I turned to Rabbi Zohn and said, “Being that you started in the field several years before Rav Moshe Feinstein’s passing, asking him many of your shailos, tell me a story of dealing with him”.

He paused for a moment, and then looked up with heavy, wet eyes and shared an amazing story that touches upon the halachos of burial vs. cremation and the wisdom and siyatta d’shmya of Rav Moshe.

We will share this story next week, iy’h when we conclude our discussion of this painful, yet critical, subject.

II.

“Mer Ken Nit Vissen”

The Chochma of Rav Moshe

 “…As he came, so shall he go”

Koheles 5:15

From this pasuk the Sefer Chasidim (#560) finds allusion to the tahara performed on a meis before burial. Just as one of the first acts upon a baby’s birth is to have it bathed, so too should this be one of the final acts upon a death.

The tahara is an ancient minhag yisroel which is mentioned already by the mishneh (Shabbos 141a).

According to kabala (see Maaver Yavok, sefas emem, ch. 25) the tahara is the final element that completely severs the neshama from the body, hence its name connoting complete purity.

As a kohein I have never had the zechus in taking part in this holy action, but as a rav I am privileged to know the people who do. They are deserving of their role as the last people to see the physical form until bias goel tzedek.

Shailos abound in the arena of a chevra kadisha and taharos. One of the most prominent, about which one will find differing views depending on one’s city, is what to do in the case of an non-observant person with no request for a tahara.

For example, Rav Moshe Feinstein rules that such an individual, while being given tachrichim and having their body washed, need not be given the full tahara (Ig’m y’d 3:147;1).

The ‘Tahara Manual of Practices’ reports in the name of Rav Moshe’s students that even in such cases, or in a case where the meis or their family directed that no tahara be done, a rav may still officiate at the funeral.

But what about cremations? Last week we wrote about the epidemic in this country, and indeed around the world, of such directives, due to cost and, sadly, a lack of awareness toward halacha and techias hameisim.

The initial question is if such an urn, rachmana l’tzlan, may be allowed burial in a Jewish cemetery. Rav Moshe (ad loc. #2) states as follows: “Those that cremate (for whatever their chosen reason) and dictated that they be burned, we are not to bury the remains in a Jewish cemetery, and even generally speaking ashes do not necessitate kevurah”

But what about a tahara? Should a chevrah kadisha perform this holy ritual on someone who anyway will not have a kevuras yisroel (for those that pasken not to bury an urn)?

This is a sensitive question, one in which leads to different minhagim in different cities. On the one hand, what harm would be caused by preforming a tahara? On the other, the tahara is something sacred and is done before a burial and not willy-nilly, or ‘just because’. And indeed, the poskim, and chevra kadishas are divided on this issue.

It was on this topic that I concluded my meeting the other week with Rabbi Elchanan Zohn. A leading figure in the chevrah kadisha field, I asked him if he could perhaps conclude our meeting with a maaseh with Rav Moshe Feinstein, as he had asked an untold number of shailos to him when starting out in his chesed shel emes.

The following is the amazing story, related to all of the above, that he shared.

Many years ago he had asked Rav Moshe the delicate question regarding a tahara for someone who directed in their will to be cremated.

Rav Moshe was clear in his response that in such a case no tahara is necessary.

However, Rabbi Zohn related, there is another chevra kadishe in another city that does indeed perform a tahara even in such cases. But more, remarkably they also claim support for this from a psak of Rav Moshe Feinstein!

Now, how can this be? Rabbi Zohn knows he can trust his own ears, yet on the other hand he recognizes the head of this other chevra kadisha as a deeply honorable man.

For years he was troubled and confused by this inconsistency in psak.

Something in this story must be missing, he thought.

Now jumping ahead over thirty years, a few weeks ago Rabbi Zohn had to travel to another city, and in the midst of meeting with a leader of that city’s chevra kadisha this very subject came up.

The response he got was shocking: “Well, you know the story of Rav Moshe Feinstien and cremation in that city to which you refer, don’t you?”

Rabbi Zohn was nonplussed and anxious to hear.

The year was 1971 and a woman passed away in this city. She lived a full life and was someone of great means. She used her wealth during her lifetime to support all the local frum institutions, and her death reverberated throughout the city.

She left one child, who came into the chevra kadisha with her mother’s will. In it were two crucial directives:

• Upon my death I must have a tahara
• Once that is complete, I wish to be cremated

Now, leaving aside the mystery of this latter request (perhaps she was simply ‘culturally’ orthodox and was unaware of the importance of kevurah), the chevra and local rabbanim were beside themselves. They tried to reason with the remaining child, but she was determined to follow the will of her mother.

Should they do the tahara anyway? Perhaps this would set a precedent to others who wish to cremate! On the other hand, to not do a tahara on this woman who supported the community for all of these years seemed anathema!

So, they did what many would do in 1971who has a serious shailah-they called Rav Moshe Feinstein.

Rav Moshe listened carefully to the case, the importance of this baalas tzedaka, and responded that they should do the tahara.

Rav Moshe explained his ruling with four words,“Mer ken nit vissen (we just can’t know)”. Meaning, right now you have a tahara to do, what will be tomorrow ‘mer ken nit vissen’.

So, they performed the tahara, and with great pain they released the body the next morning. The hearse picked up the meisa and drove it across town to the retort to be cremated.

As they were unloading the nifteres, a car came screeching around the corner, pulling up behind the hearse.

The door swings upon and running out of the car was the nifteres’s child, the one who just the day before was demanding that her mother’s wishes be honored.

In a panic she yelled, “Stop! Do not perform the cremation!”

What happened to change her mind?

She later explained that the night after the tahara her mother came to her in a dream and pleaded with her to give her body a true kevuras yisroel.

Mer ken nit vissen!

Who knows what what Rav Moshe knew? Perhaps he felt that such a ballas tzedaka would never be allowed by the Riboneh Shel Olam to wind up cremated.

Who knows?

This story gives up keen insight to how a minhag could start in a city, as till today, since that incident, that city will always do a tahara even before an assumed cremation.

Chazal inform us that although nevuah was taken away from the prophets in the time of the second temple, it was not taken from talmidie chachamim (Bava Basra 11b-12a).

The Ramban there raises a fascinating point: prophets too had to obtain the level of a ‘chachom’ before meriting the level of navi (see Nedarim 38). This being the case, how does this stoppage effect anything; would not the prophets anyway still have neviis by dint of their own attained chochma?

The Chasam Sofer, in his elucidation of the Ramban’s answer to his question, explains that there is a distinction between ‘nevuah’ mamesh –which comes directly from Above – and nevuah by dint of chochma. The latter is not the classic nevuah, per se, rather a keen understanding of how matters will likely turn out based on attained Torah wisdom and seichel. And, although such chachamim receive guidance from Above in this chochma, it still takes on the form of tevah/natureand is not deemed complete nevuah. (See also Ritva, and this Chasam Sofer in full s.v. ‘af al pi’)

This is a wondrous opening to our understanding of daas Torah, and to the story Rabbi Zohn shared.

U’bila Hamaves LaNetzach, Umuchah Hashem Elokim Dimah M’al Kol Panim!