November 2018
A Fascinating Shaila, and Some Good Advice
People often seek to prove that stress causes premature greying from recent presidents. Presidents Obama, Bush and many others were not grey upon election, but over the first few years in office they precipitously turned grey (Regan, however, is likely still not grey!).
I have always disregarded this proof.
Rather, I contend, the above phenomenon is caused by an other factor.
During the election –when candidates are looking for any and all votes-they wish to look young and full of vigor. So, they dye their hair to remove their already grey hair. It is only after they win that they stop dying their hair and it then turns back to its natural color!
Rabbanim, lahavdil, may have the opposite concern.
We see from Rav Elazar Ben Arzia (Berachos 27-28) that rabbanim do not wish to appear young. After he was chosen to replace Raban Gamiliel as rosh yeshiva, his wife told him, “But your hair is not white!” As we know, the next morning he woke up and, although still eighteen (or sixteen according to the Yerushalmi), his hair had turned grey and white.
This is more than just a celebrated story from our past, but may have halachic consequence as well.
About one-hundred-and-fifty years ago there was a man –about whom many teshuvos indicate was a rav;see Tznif Melucha p. 80:14) whose hair and beard grew in an unexpected way.
On one side of his head his hair, payos and beard were completely black, and on the other side they were completely white.
One would approach him with a shaliah thinking he was an older posek, and he would turn around to answer and he would abruptly turn into a thirty-year-old!
This is not a legend or the beginning of a gag, this really happened, and many teshuvos were written in response to his question if he would be allowed to dye half of his hair (shu’t Shoel Umeishiv 1:210)!
Some point out (see shu’t Mahari Ashkanazi y’d 19) that the concern of lo yilbash (the prohibition for one gender to act or dress like the other) is limited not to an action per se, but rather to a result that the other gender would also desire. In other words, since no woman (generally speaking) would dye their hair color to white or grey, we can allow this rav dye the black half of his hair to grey (instead of the white half black)!
I mention the above not just because it is interesting, but because of a recent shailah I was asked that I found fascinating, and for which Rav Zilberstien and a balla buss was very helpful in solving.
This shailah opened the door to many varying sugyos, which allowed me to dedicate shiurim to it and to the springs of Torah that it forces one to encounter.
(Of course, what follows is only meant l’kovod Torah u’lahdira, and not for psak)
An older bochur, about thirty years of age, has not yet been able to find his bashert. As he has gotten older the calls have dwindled and he is only getting older.
To add to his concern, he has gone almost completely bald over the past few years. To his mind, if it was hard in his twenties to find shidduchim, being a bald man in his thirties has only made it that much more difficult.
His shaliah was two-fold:
First, he wished to know if he may he get a hair transplant to fix his baldness.
This question, while interesting, is not necessarily a new one.
It was the next question that followed that was new, at least to me.
When he went to his appointment with the hair transplant surgeon (at that point not realizing any shailah was involved), the doctor saw that he was a frum Jew. So, at the end of the appointment the doctor explained to him the following. Hair transplantation is an ever-changing field, always improving their methods and outcome. Because he will be transplanting hair and skin from the back of his head, and doing so seamlessly, his new hair (and skin underneath) will be very sensitive for a week or so.
This being the case, it would be both dangerous as well as disadvantageous to the procedure, to place anything weighted on his head for that week following.
The potential client nodded his head showing his understanding. But the doctor knowingly looked at him, as if to say ‘You’re not getting it”.
“You’re an orthodox Jew, yes?”
“Yes”
“Well what I am trying to say is that the boxes which you pace upon your head each morning can not be worn for five to seven days following this procedure”.
Things just got very interesting.
As to the first shailah, I recall waiting in the lobby after a chasunah for the pouring rain to subside. A famous rosh yeshiva was also waiting. He suddenly grabbed his rebbitzen’s pink raincoat and ran out to get the car.
This is based on the view of the Bach and others (see Shulchan Aruch, y’d siman 182 with Taz #4 and Shach #7) who say there is no lo yilbosh when done to protect from weather.
But what about dyeing one’s hair? This is a machlokos. Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach (Minchas Shlmo 2:86:3) allowed it for shidduch purposes, and Rav Moshe Feinstein extended an allowance for certain job purposes (Igros Moshe y’d 2:61), while on the other hand the Chazon Ish and others (see Peor Hador 4:p.92) disallowed even in these cases.
It should be noted that Rav Moshe writes in a separate responsum, that should a pill be invented that turns hair back to its natural color, this too would be forbidden for men to take (unless one has reasons that fit with his lenient view above).
However, even if this young man wished to accept the lenient view, could he do so knowing it would prevent him from wearing teffilin?!
The issue of bittul aseh (actively avoiding a positive mitzvah) is a highly complex one, both in halacha (see Ravaad to Avodah Zara 20 if doing so is a deroisa or a derabanan) and hashkafa (see Orach Chaim Hakodosh to Shmos 3:5 and Yaaros Devash 1:5).
There is also much discussion as to how often the mitzvah of teffilin is activated –is it a mitzvah all day, every day? The Brisker Rav famously ruled (see shu’t Teshuvos V’Hanhagos 2:30) that the mitzvah of teffilin is a constant, and is not renewed daily.
I mentioned all of this in greater detail in a recent halacha shiur I gave.
At the end of the shiur everyone wished to know what I told the man to do at the end.
I explained that a Rav from Queens, Rav Hirtz, who is close to Rav Zilberstein, is in eretz yisroel and will be asking him for his thoughts.
Another person at the shiur then said the following. “Rabbi, all of this is very interesting, but I have an easy why out of all of this”.
Oh really, I thought. I just had spent hours going through this complex sugya, and this guy figured out its secret, impossible!
“Assuming Rav Zilberstein paskens there is no lo yilbash issue in getting a transplant in this case, just let him get the surgery before Pesach or Sukkos. This way, he is anyway not wearing teffilin for a week!”
I was stopped in my tracks. I missed the forest for the trees! Such an easy way out of the problem!
A few days later, I received a call from Rav Hirtz.
“Nu, what did Rav Zilberstein say?” I anxiously asked.
“He said to get the procedure done around chol hamoed to avoid the teffilin issue”!
Always listen to your balla battim!
Shul Chronicles 
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