April, 2019
Dear Rabbi Taub,
Thank you for a wonderful column. I wanted to throw out an idea that I’ve had for an article with Pesach/Sefira not too far away. I always thought the laws of shaving were so bizarre/fascinating and it has been a topic that as a ba’al tshuva that always catches me off guard. As a student at Sho’r Yoshuv yeshiva I would always look around to see who was shaving and who wasn’t; did their job make them putar? At least during the summer months as a counselor at (frum Camp X) many staff would shave during the 3 weeks eruv Shabbos; what was with Rosh Chodesh falling on Sunday so you could shave eruv Shabbos? Why didn’t we shave during Chol HaMoed if it is a joyous time? I most likely still don’t remember all the answers to these questions, but it is one of those things that you notice and notice about others.
Best,
Drew Fein
Wisconsin
I thought it best to wait until the Lag B’omer issue to respond, as this way I could avoid people paskening from what is written here.
The writer is correct that it can be all very confusing.
As a rav as well, it is often a case-by-case basis. This reminds me of the old story (of the fellow who approaches his rav, “A girl who I have been trying to date finally said ‘Yes’ to the shadchann. May I shave for this first meeting during sefira?” The rav, after being told that she is a girl from an upper-class family who would not be delighted to be seen with a scraggly-bearded gentleman –responded in the affirmative.
The first date went well, so the boy was surprised to hear the next morning from the shadchan that she wished to call it off.
“Was it something that I said?” he nervously asked.
“No, not at all” replied the shadchan “She had a wonderful time”.
“So what is the issue?”
“She just could not see herself marrying a boy who shaves during sefira”!
Interestingly, this is found as a real case presented to Rav Moshe (Mesoras Moshe 3:p.142), and while he says in some cases there is room to be lenient, he is indeed greatly concerned that shaving will have the opposite of the desired affect –causing the girl to wonder why this young man is shaving during sefira.
Making these halachos most puzzling is the fact that we have the Three Weeks/Nine Days, chol hamoed, sefira, and aveilus R’l-all prohibiting haircuts and shaving.
Because the above periods all share many basic premises, they often get confused with each other. For example, the idea that one should not purchase new items during sefira –especially items that would allow for a shehechiyanu –is, according to most, not true during sefira. Simply due to these days’ confusion with the days of Av is causes many not to puraches new items during sefira (see Mishnah Berrura 496:2 –the reader should note that there are indeed minhagim not to make this beracha during sefira and every reader must follow their minhag, see Bein Pesach L’Shavuos p. 290 footnote #2 at length for many sources who support just such a chumrah).
Further confusing matters, the poskim debate to what extent we can compare these various ‘no haircutting’ times of the year.
So, for example, by hilchos chol hamoead the Shulchan Aruch (siman 531) gives us a list of people who would be able to get a haircut, e.g. a released prisoner.
The Pri Megadim states by hilchos sefira that this same list of allowances would be activated by sefira as well. This opinion is recorded approvingly by the Biur Halacha.
However, Rav Moshe Feinstein (Igros Moshe 2:96) is not as satisfied with such a comparison. For by chol hamoed, the reason chazal prohibited hair cutting is to get everyone to look their best before going into yom tov; so as to retard any procrastination. This is very different than sefira that carries the weight of actual aveilus!
But, certainly, the most confusing aspect of all is when and when not there is a general allowance for haircuts during one’s ‘half’ of sefira. It is important to keep in mind that there are various customs as to when during these 49 days not to cut hair. While many avoid it all the days of sefira, most follow either the ‘first half’ (from Pesach until lag b’omer), or some type of second half (1 iyaar until 1 yimei hagbala, or, 2 iyaar until erev Shavous, or even from Pesach until 1 sivan)
Let me run through all potential calendar occurrences that give rise to allowances.
EREV SHABBOS:
Rav Moshe Feinstein was once asked (Mesoras Moshe vol. 3 p. 143) regarding someone who is shaving during sefira due to work and potential financial loss (a rav should always be consulted, see Likutei Halachos, based on Rav Shmuel Kamanetzky shlit’a, p. 114 footnote 5 at length).
“Since he is shaving anyway throughout the while week, would it not be a bizayon to not shave for Shabbos?!”
While Rav Moshe said he understood why people might think so, the truth is that doing what halacha advises is never a bizayon l’shabbos.
Nevertheless, and as the shoel told Rav Moshe (to no avail), there are poskim who always allow shaving erev Shabbos during sefira.
There are many reasons for their leniency. For one, the minhag of not cutting hair during sefira should not triumph over the words of a navi, and it says (Yeshayahu 58:13) ‘…v’karah l’shabbos oneg-you shall call unto Shabbos as a delight’. In fact, the Rama rules (siman 260) that getting a haircut erev Shabbos is a matter of halacha!
Others are quoted as allowing erev Shabbos shaving or trimming of beards because, at least in America, many go without any beards and after a few days of noticeable stubble one has already fulfilled their aveilus.
However, and as Rav Moshe concludes, short of having such a mesorah from parents or rebbeim, the minhag yisroel is not like this, as we shall clearly see in the next examples.
SEE FOOTNORE IN EMES LYAAKOV TO SA 493 WHO ALSO SAYS EREV SHABBOS NO HAIRCUTS
Erev Shabbos Before a Shabbos Rosh Chodesh Iyaar
The poskim rule that should this rosh chodesh fall on Shabbos (in which case the first day of Rosh Chodesh will always be on Friday) then one may get haircuts erev Shabbos. This is true even if one generally follows Rav Yehudah Hachasid not to cut their hair on rosh chodesh (Rav Elyahsiv and Rav Moshe, as brought in Dirshu #16). From the mere fact that the poskim allow one to shave on this particular erev Shabbos is evidence that most held that a stam erev Shabbos during sefira cutting hair would not be allowed.
Erev Shabbos Before a Sunday Rosh Chodesh Iyaar
One may not cut their hair this erev Shabbos (Pri Chadash, et al.)
Erev Shabbos Before a Sunday Lag B’Omer
One may cut their hair on such an erev Shabbos (Rema). As to if one must cut their hair before such a Shabbos, poskim say not (see, e.g. Rivevos Efraim 1:338).
Erev Shabbos Before a Sunday Rosh Chodesh Sivan (Or a Sunday Day 1 of the Yimei Hagbala)
For the many whose sefira period (33 days) ends after rosh chodesh sivan –by the yimei hagbalah – then they may not get a haircut on this Friday. However, those for whom Sunday rosh chodesh would mark the end of their mourning period there is a debate (this would also apply to a year when Sunday is the first of the yimei hagbalah for those whose mourning period ends then). The Pri Megadim argues that this should be no different than when lag b’omer falls on a Sunday when it is allowed on the Friday before. However, many others disagree with this and do not allow haircutting on such any such Friday before sivan.
But why should this be different from lag b’omer when one may cut their hair the Friday before? When is a Sunday event enough to allow one to cut their hair on the Friday before and when not?
Rav Shlomo Kluger explains (Chochmas Shlomo, siman 493):
When on Shabbos itself there is an additional added joy (like Shabbos and rosh chodesh) one could get haircuts the Friday before.
However, a Sunday event alone would not be enough, save for lag b’omer. For, following lag b’omer many revert back to sefira and not cutting their hair, making their erev Shabbos haircut in such a year kavod for that Shabbos and the next Shabbos.
This, however, can’t be compared to a Sunday rosh chodesh –even a rosh chodesh that would allow one to cut their hair, because a Sunday rosh chodesh or a Sunday day 1 of the yimei hagbala one would be allowed to cut their hair not just on that day, but all days following it, making our need for allowances far weaker.
I will conclude with the following original thought. Lag b’omer always falls out 18th iyaar. The Gemara says that according to Rav Yehoshua the first day of the mabul was 17 Iyar (Rosh Hashanah 11).
According to the Sefer Hayashar the waters of the flood killed everyone on the first day, so that by 18 Iyar the deaths had ended. The 18th of Iyar is also the date when another plague—the one that afflicted Rebbe Akiva’s students—ended. I would suggest, then, that what we are celebrating is a date that represents forging ahead, picking up the pieces and rebuilding.
Like Noach, Rebbe Akiva’s had to start from scratch and rebuild even after losing everything. This date represents rising from the ashes, carrying on after loss.
And, it hints to our ratzon for the ultimate ‘re-start’ –with binyan bayis shlelishi!
Shul Chronicles 
Leave a comment