Author: Moshe Taub

  • The Seder: The ‘Hardest’ Mitzva?

    The Seder: The ‘Hardest’ Mitzva?

    Sefarim Debate which of the 613 mitzvos is the ‘Hardest’ to fulfill.

    We will add one more Mitzvah to this, and learn Pesach lessons along the way.

    Last year, as I was leaving shul to head to my Pesach seder, I was stopped by a young bachur. The question he asked, and the answers I ultimately discovered, are worthy of sharing, and may have a positive impact on the reader’s own Pesach and seder. Before disclosing his difficulty, let’s first put ourselves into the mindset behind his vital enquiry.

          The sifrei machshava frequently share that it is often the very issue, mitzvah, or nisayon, that challenges us most where we may discover the greatest potential growth, and from which one may discern their unique tafkid in this life. Correspondingly, there are certain obligations that are a challenge for all of klal yisroel, and from which- the Torah testifies- can harness the power of unleashing our kedusha and dveykus should we accomplish them.

        On this note, some of our gedolim have wondered the following: What is the most challenging mitzvah -from all of the taryag mitzvos and seven mitzvos m’derabanan, as well as the myriad Rabbinic legal protections?

         While this is certainly a subjective question, over the years, many candidates have been offered by gedolim.

          The Ksav Sofer had his own proposed candidate (Shu’t Ksav Sofer, Orach Chaim, siman 57), stating: “…and in truth the mitzvah of tochacha (rebuke) is more difficult to accomplish properly more than any mitzvah in the Torah”. And, indeed, if done properly we could remove all sin!

          The Gra offers another mitzvah as the most challenging to observe properly: the obligation to be in a state of simchah on the yomim tovim (Devarim 16:16; Divrei Shalom, p. 36; shu”t Mishneh Halachos 7:75). While the Rambam (Peirush Mishnayos, avos, 2:1) posits that this mitzvah is one that many assume is easy (mitzvah kalla), he, perhaps, was only speaking of our mistaken presumptions.

         On this theme of simchas yom tov, the Brisker Rav is quoted as saying that the yom tov of sukkos is therefore the hardest, as the simcha must last every second! Rav Reuvein Benges is quoted as saying, “Certain types of minor chametz on Pesach may only be a violation of a derabanan, whereas just a trace of sadness may be a violation of a Torah law!” (Shu’t Teshuvos V’Hanhagos, 5:155). This helps explain why we are told in ki savo that to avoid the tochachos found there we need to serve Hashem with Joy, as, again, within our greatest challenge is also our greatest refuge.

        Indeed, the challenge in keeping any of the mitzvos that rely on our emotions is echoed by Rav Baruch Eptsien in his Tosfess Beracha: “Why in Hillel’s response to the convert regarding the verse, “Love your fellow as yourself,” [does he add] “What is hateful to you, do not do to your friend.”?…This is because the emotion of love is relegated to the heart, making it impossible to require such matters. So, it is taught as refraining from harmful actions against another, for this too can be learnt from the verse…“

         Let’s simplify this question, and ask instead: What is the most challenging mitzvah to be mikayem over Pesach?

         Rav Shlomo Brevda quotes in the name of the Gra that just by the seder alone there are sixty-four mitzvos to be fulfilled (Leil Shemurim, p. 46, 47)! This is not to mention the unremitting obligation to avoid eating, benefitting, or owning chometz, etc.

          If you ask a yeshivah bachur which of these many seder mitzvos is the hardest, they may respond, “Fulfilling the proper shiurim”. A father may answer “V’higadeta l’vincha, to have a true dialogue with one’s children about our geula”.

         Now I can share the shailah I was asked last year, upon which I immediately recognized realized alluded to one of the most challenging mitzvos of the night, if not the year. Rav Shternbuch makes the same case, writing how “One of the gedolei hador once shared with me that this is the hardest mitzvah, and how at the end of each seder he was concerned if he fulfilled it, even at bdieved level”.  (Hagadas Moadim Uzmanim, p. 86).

         To what mitzvah do I refer? It comes from a mishneh (Pesachim 116b), and we say it by the seder:

    “In every generation, each person must see himself as if they are exiting mitzraim”

        Is there a mitzvah more challenging?!

        This bochur asked me last year how to best fulfill this mitvah in accordance with all views, I was unable to answer right away. After much thought and research, I would later share with him the following.

         Rav Yechezkal Landau underscores the seeming incongruity of this mitzvah. It is one thing to feel this way when the beis hamikdosh stood, he writes, but today – with all of our suffering – how is this emotional state even possible?! He even points to the incompatibility of such an emotion when slavery still exited (in his day) around the world! (Derushei HaTzleach, 1967 edition p. 53a bottom of first column, 51b bottom of first column, and 52a first column).

         Countless other questions abound regarding this mitzvah -both in lomdus and hashkafa. Due to these, the sefarim state something unbelievable (see in particular, Emek Beracha, pesach, 3; see also Netziv to shmos 34 and devarim 16 and Sefas Emes, pesach, ’58, inter alia.).

        “The hallel and thanks we offer on Pesach is unique, and different than that of any other yom tov. On, say Chanukah, we are recalling and thanking Hashem for what He did for us long ago. However, on Pesach, we are also referring to the here-and-now, our own personal geulah…” This is why the Rambam adds one crucial word to this mitzvah: “In every generation, each person must see himself as if they are exiting mitzraim ‘atah/now”! (Emek Beracha, ibid.).

         This too is why Pesach carries a seasonal obligation -from which much of our calendar is derived. Pesach, the Torah says, must be in the aviv/spring. The word aviv comes from avah, meaning hopes/yearnings (this bis where the word taavah comes from, see, e.g. bereishis, 24:5; See Rav Hirsch Chumash, shmos, 9:30).      

           Each spring we see the dead trees converted to life, the cold turn to warmth, and the darkness transformed to light. This is Pesach!

          By the time we reach the end of magid, our goal is to take the lessons from the story of the hagadah and to then transfer our own struggles and challenges onto that prism. By doing so, one will find themselves calmed with the relief in the knowledge that just as Hashem did for us in the past, so can he do for us in the future. Both individually in our personal lives, and for us as a nation.

          This is a most amazing chiddush, and one that make this mitzvah, while still challenging, plausible. More, this mitzvah becomes aspirational for the entire year. Pesach in general, and sipur yetzias mitzraim in particular, is an emunah reset.

       So yes, this is still a most difficult mitzvah, yet one with a clear path of accomplishment. And,  as we began, the nisayon in its kiyum alludes to the fact that from it one can gain stupendously in their dveykus to Hashem, as well as solace and hope in their own lives.

        May Hashem indeed bring each of us a persanol and communal geulah!

    Chag Kosher V’Sameach!

  • Cosmetics & Pesach Guides

    Cosmetics & Pesach Guides

    Using ‘Purell’ To Underst The Halachos Inedible Chometz

    March, 2023

    I say it almost every year—in my experience, Pesach is the least busy time for a rav.

    Unlike Shavuos, when the rav gives all-night shiurim, or Sukkos, when daled minim can wither or break and the weather can elicit sh’eilos, the days of Pesach are often silent.

    This is because by the time Pesach arrives, the house has been cleaned, the food has been purchased, the kitchen has been kashered, and the guidelines have been given out. Of course, problems will always arise, but these are rare.

    In fact, one of my favorite times of year is Erev Pesach, right after I sell the chametz. The next several hours are among the quietest on the rabbinic schedule.

    Conversely, the weeks leading up to Pesach are busier than ever. To be honest, there is a certain excitement about this; not a day goes by when I do not receive a sh’eilah I have never been asked before—and sometimes they are sh’eilos I haven’t even thought of!

    The problem, of course, is time. Glancing at my cellphone right now as I sneak away to write this column, I see that I have received seven calls and 13 texts in the past 25 minutes. My emails are backed up, my voice mailbox is out of space, and my wife, who has her own nine-to-five job, is running the house alone. Indeed, the role of the rebbetzin too often goes unseen, but without her the rabbi would not be able to help his tzibbur (a topic that deserves its own column).

    The main purpose of this column has always been to give a window into the world of rabbanus, so I will share the most popular sh’eilah I’ve received in the past few years. There is also a lesson in this sh’eilah as we go into Yom Tov.

    Most Pesach guides state or imply two significant halachic positions for the Pesach consumer.

    One is that inedible cosmetic powders, creams, soaps, shampoos, gels, and other such items are all acceptable on Pesach regardless of their ingredients (see, for example, the 2023 OU guide, p. 113; shu”t Sh’oel U’meishiv 2:148; cf. Biur Halachah, siman 326, etc., that some are machmir).

    The second position is that if these cosmetics and inedible items are in liquid form—for example, perfume, spray deodorant and hairspray—there may indeed be a problem if they contain chametz (see Mikra’ei Kodesh, 1:54, Igros Moshe, Orach Chaim 3:62, and Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach in Halichos Shlomo, 4:11; cf. Shaarim Metzuyanim B’halachah,112:2, which allows even these).

    It seems easy to remember—all inedible cosmetic items are permissible on Pesach, but those that are in liquid form need to be checked. If you would like to use a liquid item, you need to make sure either that it contains no alcohol, or that any alcohol listed in the ingredients is not ethyl, ethanol or denatured, as these three types may be derived from chametz.

    Based on this guideline, many people have approached me to say they are surprised that I listed Purell and other hand sanitizers as problematic on Pesach if they contain any of these kinds of alcohol.

    “Rabbi,” they tell me, “first of all, these are not exactly liquids. And secondly, other Pesach guides say they are all fine.”

    It is always hard for a rav to argue with what has been published!

    The other night after davening, I decided to explain my personal approach publicly.

    I began by reminding my listeners of a vital principle I often share with them: “Psak halachah must always be consistent.” A halachah in hilchos Yom Tov, for example, must align with certain rules in hilchos shechitah. No halachah exists in a vacuum; everything is connected. The Shulchan Aruch and the Rambam are not just organized compilations of laws; each is an integrated, dependable systems, a cohesive living organism of halachah.

    In this framework, a rule regarding inedible liquids has a taam, a logic. Knowing the exact reasoning behind a halachah or chumrah is critical in order to use it in another application.   

    I asked my audience, “Why is it that cosmetic liquids are a problem when other types of cosmetics are not? Well, it was never about liquids per se.”

    Certainly, those rabbanim and publications that disagree with me regarding hand sanitizers are well aware of the following, and may indeed deviate from my conclusion. My goal, however, is to explain this to the layman.

    Rav Moshe (ibid.) and others explained that there was a time when poor people and addicts either drank these “inedible” items, or filtered and flavored them and then drank them, in order to get the high they needed. In fact, my father-in-law saved a story printed in Toronto’s Globe and Mail in the late 1980s about a homeless man who passed out surrounded by deodorant bottles.

    Because some people consider this an edible item, the minhag developed to be strict regarding those that contain chametz.

    “The problem was the fact that they were edible, not that they were liquid,” I explained.

    What does this have to do with my view on hand sanitizers? Many do contain chametz (ethyl, ethanol or denatured alcohol), and unlike a bottle of spray deodorant, there have been countless news articles over the past decade about teenagers drinking them (e.g., NPR, April 25, 2012, and VICE, February 25, 2016).

    In my opinion, if this chumrah applies to liquid cosmetics, it would also apply to hand sanitizers. In fact, during COVID, when there was a shortage of hand sanitizers, many distilleries switched to making them.

    Here is a story that came out just last week in North Carolina:

    “A distillery business in Statesville pivoted to meet consumer needs when a hand-sanitizer shortage stressed the community three years ago, but now they’re back to making whiskey. Stores couldn’t keep hand sanitizer in stock when the pandemic hit. Southern Distilling Company took advantage of the opportunity and began using its alcohol to create hand sanitizer”(Spectrum 1 News).

    While everyone should follow the view of his own rav,we must never stop asking questions when it comes to halachah.Respectfully asking the reason for a practice is derech haTorah!

    I hope my shul continues to ask me, “Why?”

  • Why Did Achashveirosh Deserve Esther? Why Did Esther Deserve To Suffer Abuse? Why Was Achashveirosh Zocheh To Father The Builder of Bayis Sheni?

      “Good Morning Rabbi Taub!

    Just wondering, did Achashveirosh have a unique zechus that sanctioned his progeny to help construct the Beis Hamikdosh?”

    Text I Received: See More Below

    In line at the grocery on Shushan Purim, I noticed the first stages of Pesach shelve-stocking. Purim candies were now across from macaroons, and leftover packaged mishaloach manos were near Pesach candy platters.

             This overlap was a perfect mashal for our hashkafa during this time of year, when we needn’t erase the residue of one yom tov to begin preparing for the next. In fact, Purim is designated as our start date to begin reviewing the halachos Pesach (see Bach to siman 429).

        In this spirit, I shared above a text I received a few weeks ago that has had a tremendous impact on my prism during this Pesach/Purim intersection.

         Hashem could bring a yeshuah in a myriad of ways – as Mordechai himself verbalizes to Esther during the events of Purim (“[R]evach v’hatzalah yaamod l’yehudim mimakom acher“, Esther 4:1) – so why was it this rasha’s son, Daryuvush, who came to our spiritual aid?

       It may be tempting to dismiss this question, claiming that is was in the zechus of Darius II’s mother,Esther, and not his father (as indeed alluded to in chazal, see, e.g., Vayikra Rabbah 13:5).

      However, chazal allude to this texter’s point when they state in the very first midrash to Esther:

    “…Says Rav Nechemia, the same Achashveirosh who ordered the halting of the reconstruction of the Beis Hamikdosh, is the same one who later ordered its rebuilding!”

    (See meforshim ad loc., as well as to sefer Ezra, for how this was chronologically possible; see also Shabbos 32a and Yalkut to Bereishis, 8:61).

          And, to the texter’s actual question, we do find that chazal were bothered by such matters. Famously, chazal wonder what zechus Nevuchadnetzar had so as to gain power and ultimately destroy the Beis Hamikdosh (see Shir HaShirim Rabbah 3:6) -a zechus we still seek to counter with our own steps by shemoneh esreh!

    This same question is only enhanced here, concerning the zechus for its constructing!

          I was initially only able to find sources that discuss this question in reverse:

    The sefer Birchas Tov (printed in 1713) asks, “Why was Esther’s having to marry someone like Achashveirosh Hashem’s chosen path of yeshuah?”.

    Others ask this same question with a unique twist:

    What zechus did Esther have to rule over all this land (see Bereishis Rabbah 58:3 with HaRash Ozida (a student of the Ari’zl, only published forty years ago).

          To these questions, many share a chazal (Bereishis Rabbah 99:3) where they expound upon the language of Binyaman’s beracha, “ze’ev yitaref“, alluding to ‘grabbing’ (see Rashi). They explain that this was referencing Shaul (who was from Binyamin), a zechus that would allow him to ‘grab’ the malchus from Yehudah, as well, it was a reference to Esther (also from Binyamin) enabling her to ‘grab’ ‘kingship power’ from Achashveirosh.

    This is alluded to in Esther when the pasuk states ‘Vatilakeich esther el melech achashveirosh’ (2:15; note the feminine tense as well).

              The sefer Einei Haeidah (by the baal Shevet Mussar, Rav Eliyahu of Izmir, d. 1729) reminds us of one more, unfortunate, ‘grabbing’ done by shevet Binyamin:

    The pilegesh b’givah.

    Amazingly, he state that it was for that ignoble and shameful ‘seizing’ that this shevet would need one of its progenies to endure a mida k’neged mida to atone (chelek 1, p.146, first column; see there, and Alshich to 4:7, for further answers).

           As for the initial question of Achashveirosh’s zechus, we find that chazal see in Achashveirosh a confounding and duplicitous character.

    The gemara even debates if he was a fool or wise man (Megilla 13a).

    • On the one hand, chazal state that he hated klal yisroel more so than Haman (Esther Rabbah 7:20)
    • On the other, that he was easily manipulated by whomever had his ear at that time (first Memuchan, then Haman, then Esther, etc. see Megillah 15 and Midrash Abbah Gurin).
    • While chazal proclaim his wickedness, they also praise how he would bring even his own cases to fair tribunals (see Rashi to Esther 1:13).

         It was then when remembered a chazal (Esther Rabbah, 1:15), where they go out of their way to catalogue Achashveirosh’s positive attributes, something chazal were not keen on doing for many other reshaim:

    “Said Rav Shmuel bar Ami: four good things were found in him (Achashveirosh)…”

          He lists actions done or resisted that relate to his leadership as king.

    The midrash concludes by quoting one more positive trait (cf. meseches Megilla 13a where two more are added):

          “ Rav Pinchas added, whenever anyone did him a favor, he would record it. Thus we find ‘…and it was written in his book of chronicles that Mordechai…’”

        We can easily miss the fact that the whole story of Esther is predicated upon this ‘book of favors’, as well the remarkability of its existence.

    Consider how wild this fact is:

    Here is a king -of the entire world (see Esther 1:1, with midresh)!-a man who owed nothing to anyone, whose serfs would yield to his any wish, and yet, he still saw the good in people, still recognized an act of kindness toward him!

    This is an astonishing part of the story to contemplate.

    More, when this same king couldn’t sleep, he -the king of the civilized world! – didn’t request a jester or food, rather, he would sit up and review to whom he owed appreciation!!

          Notably, we find the exact opposite approach to life by Haman.

    After somehow crawling and sneaking his way into a position of power, and after he is invited by the Queen to a special feast, how does he respond? He bemoans to his wife that all of his recent progress and power, all his newfound prosperity and prestige, is ‘lo shava li’, worth nothing if just one person refuses to bow to him!

         What a stark reminder how one with everything will feel as if they have nothing should they focus on the ‘negative’. Conversely, should someone always focus on gratitude and appreciation for the good that was done for them they will live a serene life and, likely, ultimately succeed in the end.

          Perhaps it was this inyan of hakaras hatov that was Achashveirosh’s zechus.

         I once saw in a sefer (sadly, I can’t remember which) that the failure in this same middah was the catalyst for our sins in the midbar.‘Nirgan’ is the modern Hebrew word for that ungracious, negative, and quarrelsome person who could somehow always find reason to complain. Indeed, Moshe uses this very root term when describing that generation (Devarim 1:27). Even with miraculous food, drink and shelter, some were only able to focus on the negative.

          Hakaras hatov is the key to a content existence, and perhaps for becoming a vessel in which Hashem places His berachos.

    When I shared this idea in my shul it seemed to resonate. One woman later shared, “Every year I clean, cook and prepare Pesach. I enjoy every minute of these hachonos. But it all gets thrown away when, invariably, at some point during the seder one of my kids (or her husband!) mentions something that I didn’t make, or a new Pesach product that I didn’t buy, or a better matzah that others use, or a sleeping arrangement that I didn’t set”.

          As we enter the weeks leading to Pesach I would urge everyone to follow in this one trait of Achashveirosh -start a journal of thanks. Rav Avigdor Miller once wrote that if a person would contemplate – even for a moment – the amount of time, effort and number of people that went into one packaged cookie then their life would be vastly improved.

          Gratitude is not a teffila, fulfilled by simply and mindlessly uttering the words ‘Thank You’, as if my incantation. Rather hakaras hatov and appreciation is an attitude, a way of life, and one we should all work on, especially this time of year.

  • Explaining the Custom of Lighting One Shabbos Candle For Each Child

    Explaining the Custom of Lighting One Shabbos Candle For Each Child

    The Source For the Common Minhag of Lighting One Shabbos & Yom Tov Candle For Every Child

            I. One Is Enough?

    At a recent Shabbos sheva berachos, the female guests were in the hall preparing their candles for Shabbos as they awaited to greet the new and happy kallah. For many, the week of sheva berachos will be the first time they light neros Shabbos, and her close friends and family wished to witness the auspicious moment. When the kallah finally arrived, they all greeted her with jubilation.

          The kalla excitedly made her way to her table on which she and her chosson would be eating, and on which she was planning to light. “I need candles” she said, mostly to herself. The women scurried to bring their malkah her first two of what would, iy”H, be many future Shabbos candles. However, to their alarm, they discovered that there was only one sole candle remaining. One of them quickly darted to the front desk, but the clerk gently reminded her what year it was and explained they do not stock candles. Shabbos was inching closer and closer, so running to the store was no longer an option, and all the men were several blocks over at a local minyan.

           The cousin of the kallah, who will be graduating Shevach High School later this year,asked about the commotion and why the kallah looked so distruaght. When it was explained to her that she was not able to perform her first hadlaka as a wife, the niece made a quizzical face.

          “Why not?” the niece asked, clarifying that while it is urged to light at least two lights -one for shumer and one for zachor – the basic mitzvah is accomplished with just one (see  Rambam hil. shabbos 5:1 and Shulchan Aruch, siman 263:1). With no rav around, and just several minutes until Shabbos, the niece understood that she needed to somehow gain the confidence of this kallah, who was slightly dubious to this last claim. She eagerly turned to the kallah and said, “The beracha we make on this mitzvah is ‘lahadlik NER shel Shabbos’, in the singular! Obviously then the basic mitzvah is satisfied with one. It is so appropriate and such a zechus that your very first opportunity to perform this mitzvah you get to do so in its purest form”.    

          Now swayed -and relieved -the kallah jovially lit, made a beracha and davened before her first Shabbos candle.

           I only know this story because the young cousin of the kallah is a student of mine in 12th grade halacha.

    I am met with skepticism whenever I first teach this halacha, and always use the words of the beracha to prove the point.

          II. A Candle Per Child

    But this is just the beginning of misunderstanding when it comes to hadlakos neros.

    Over the years we have share many, such as why we wave our hands before the beracha, and, just a few weeks ago, where one may and may not light when in a hotel (both available on this site).

           However, like this story illustrates, the number of candles one needs to light has its own unique misconceptions.

          A great majority of women will say that they light candles for the number of children they have. So, if one has, say four children, they will light six candles – four for the children and two for shomur v’zachur.

         What may be surprising however, is that we are not sure where this custom comes from, when it began, or what the correlation between our candles and the number of children.

         The language of the halacha is, “One should be alacritous (toward the mitzvah) of having a nice/strong light/candle (for Shabbos). There are those who emphasis lighting two lights/candles corresponding to shomer v’zacher. Rema: one may add to this number and light three or four candles, and so is the custom…one may add any number emphasizing/corresponding to other matters, so long as one does not seek to light less (than two)” (Shulchan Aruch, siman 263:1).

          The Chofetz Chaim offers other customs, such as lighting seven neros-corresponding to the days of the week, or ten neros –corresponding to the aseres hadibros. The Vilna Gaon was known to light a very large number of neros (Maaseh Rav, 112), the Bnei Yisasschar would light 36 neros (Mamarei HaShabasos 3:8; see column regarding lechem mishneh where I explain this number), and some rabbanim of Yerushalaim would urge women to light twenty-six candles, corresponding to the shem Hashem (Rav Bengis, as quoted in shu’t Mishnas Yosef 4:33).

          The one opinion missing is the custom to light equivalent to one’s children!

          The earliest source of this latter-day minhag that I could find is the Likutei Maharich (d. 1922).

         The question remains: what is this based on, and, why did it spread as it did?

    Explanation #1

    I used to offer an explanation that I later found written by Rav Moshe Shternbuch (shu”t Teshuvos V’Hanhagos 2:157): By Chanukah, the gemara explains, the basic mitzvah is one ner on each night, like for Shabbos. However, the gemara then shares that one can perform this mitzvah in extra mehadrin ways, one of which is a ner for each member of the household!

    Perhaps, we can suggest that we applied this mehadrin of Chanukah to our weekly neros Shabbos.

          The only problem with this explanation is that this mehadrin by Chanukah is regarding the number of people presently in the house, whereas the minhag by Shabbos is for mothers to light a ner even for the child(ren) who has(have) moved out, away that Shabbos, or, R’l, has passed on.

         Explanation #2

    Others suggest that this minhag is based on another custom. The Rema brings the knas (fine) women accepted upon themselves that should one ever forget to light neros Shabbos then she must light an extra candle by Shabbos candles for the rest ofher life. (The conditions are rare, and if one ever forgets to light, before accepting upon herself this knas, a rav must be consulted).

    Since women would often forget -or be unprepared -to light after giving birth, they began to adopt adding an additional ner after each child was born -whether they deserved that k’nas or not (see, e.g. shu”t Mishneh Halachos 7:35).

          Explanation #3

    Others point to Megilas Esther for an explanation: in hilchos yom kippur (siman 610:4), the Elyah Rabbah (d. 1712) brings from an ancient targum to the megilla that for the lighting erev Yom Kippur the minhag was to light a ner for every person in the home.

         Explanation #3.1

    Based on this last explanation, we can posit an explanation as well for this minhag’s relatively recent proliferation:

         The Rema in hilchos yom kippur (ad loc.) records the minhag of lighting a ner neshama before Yom Kippur for one’s deceased parents. (The current minhag of lighting a ner neshama before any yom tov with yizkar is of recent and unknown origin).

          After the war, where so many lost their families, perhaps they would light a ner neshama for their children, hy’d, and explained to their more recent children that they are lighting for all of their brothers and sisters. Maybe this is what popularized and spread what was once a more dormant minhag.

       So many secrets in minhagei yisroel!

  • Haman’s Mother & Gilgulim

    Amazing Purim Secrets & Life Segulos

    1. The Opposite-of-Avraham Connection

     

        Rav Chaim Kinievsky published a small monograph-now added to the back of the Mesivta mikroas gedolos -titled, ‘L’michaseh Asik’ (see Yeshayahu 23:18 for the meaning of this title). Going in the order of Tanach, he provides names of siblings/parents, dates of births, deaths and events, as well as any other factual information culled from all over Torah sh’baal peh. This is a great resource for these tidbits and factual questions, and may be useful for one’s Shabbos table.

         A fascinating example that relates to Purim is from parshas lech lcha.

     “What was the name of Avraham avinu mother? After all his father and siblings are discussed in chumash, is his mother as well?”

        In fact, it seems that she is only referenced once in chumash (20:12), and even then, she is not named. Defending his previous words to Avimelech, Avraham said, “And also, indeed, she is my sister, the daughter of my father, but not the daughter of my mother, and she became my wife”

         Chazal (Bava Basra 91a) also wonder about her name (see Rashbam there why this information is important), as well as the names of the mothers of others in tanach.

           “Rav Chanan bar Rava said in the name of Rav: The mother of Avraham was Amaslei (bas Karnvo). The mother of Haman was (also) named Amaslei (bas Orevati). A tool to remember this is tamei, tamei [for Haman and his mother] and tahor, tahor [for Avraham and his mother]” (See Ben Yehoyada for three approaches as to why their order is reversed by the memory aid).

          There are many obvious questions that jump out at one upon reading this gemara.

    • Why do we need a memory aid when they have the same name? Who would, anyway, confuse the tzidkus of Avraham and his mother with the rishus of Haman and his?!
    • What is the significance of Avraham and Haman sharing a mother with the same name?
    • Why do chazal share not only their mothers’ names but also that of their fathers’?

           As to the second and third questions, al pi kabala (see Shalsheles Hakabala p. 21b, and Raavad to this gemara) these two names represent two opposing forces. They teach that it is a potent segulah to recite these names in certain ways and at certain times- Amaslei bas Karnvo when meeting with people in power, and Amaslei bas Orevati when dealing with wicked/scheming people. The Chasam Sofer explains that one should use Avraham’s full lineage name when davening in his merit like we would when mentioning any other name (sefer B’Alil Ha’Aretz).

          As for Haman’s mother, the sefer Midrash Talpios (entry: ‘imei d’avarham’) explains that, on the flip side, mentioning a rasha’s name may serve to cool the power of another rasha, as we see from chazal who share how gehenom was cooled upon Korach’s wife’s arrival there (see Bamidbar Rabbah 18:15).

          As to the first question -the gemara choosing to share that both Haman and Avraham had a mother with the same rare name – in researching this, I ran into a problem. While there are midrashim relating to the tzikus of Amaslei the mother of Avraham, I was unable to locate anything relating to Amaslei the mother of Haman, or her rishus.

         Relating to Amsalei the mother of Avraham, in the midrash ‘Maaseh Avraham Avinu’ (see Otzar Midrashim, beginning of volume one; cf.  Sefer Hayashar, Noach 8) we are told of her holy sacrifice. She had to hide her pregnancy from Nimrod because was killing all the newborn boys due to his necromancers telling him that a boy will be born who rise-up against him (sound familiar?). She gave birth to Avraham in a cave and left him there, whereupon the malach Gavriel took care of him. Later, thinking he was torn by animals, she began to mourn him (sound familiar?). Avraham was soon returned, alive of course, to his mother.

            More, I was able to find those that discuss the meaning of her own parents’ odd name Karnvo, but not for Orevati (see Rabbeinu Gershom, et al.). Karnvo comes from karim, meaning either lamb, a dove-feathered-down pillow, or a messenger (see, respectively, 1 Shmuel 15:9, Bereishis 34:31with Aruch Hashulchan 257:18, Yishayahu 16:1).

          The only one other place in all of shas where the word and spelling of Orevati is written is in kiddushin 70b. There too the gemara is speaking of yichus, specifically the questionable pedigree of a certain town. Listen to the words of the gemara:

           “…In the name of Shmuel: there are two lines of pedigree in the city of Nahardoi: one is a kosher line that is called bnei yona, and the other is non-kosher and is called bnei orevati(here meaning ravens)”

          Then I read the next line, and was shocked:

    “A tool to remember this is tamei, tamei, tahor tahor”!

         This is not only the one other place in shas where Orevati is used, it also the only other place in shas that this exact tamei/tahor phrase is used (in fact in all of Torah sh’baal peh!)!

            This may help explain the mother gemara as well. Throughout midrash bnei Avrahamare compared to the white dove (e.g. Berachos 53), and the black,raven is seen as selfish and dangerous (see parshas Noach). In fact, rishonim point out that the root for raven – eyin, reish, beis –is read as b’rah backword, meaning with evil (intent). Is there a more fitting description of Haman and his ancestry?!

       Like most elements connected to Purim, there seems to be abundant secrets hidden in all the above.

    1. The Similar-to-Korach Connection

        The midrash teaches us:

    “Two wealthy people rose up -one from yisroel and one from the umos ha’olam -Korach from yisroel and Haman from the umas ha’olam -and both were wiped from this world. Why? Because their wealth wasn’t given from Hashem, rather they grabbed it for themselves”.

     (Bamidbar Rabbah 22:7)

        More, when Moshe challenges Korach, he says, “You and your assembly will arrive in the morning before Hashem” and then, seemingly redundantly, concludes, “atah, va’hem, v’ahron –you, them and Aron”

        Rabbeinu Efraim points out that the last letters of these words spell out HaMaN. The Migaleh Amukos points out that ‘Haman ha’rasha’ is the same gematria of ‘Korach ben Yitzar’.

         They have much in common. For example, amazingly, we are taught how, uniquely, both Haman’s wife (Esther 5:14) and Korach’s wife (Sanhedrin 109-110) famously urged their respective husbands toward their evil plans.

           Furthermore, it always occurred to me that Korach is such an approprote name. ‘Korach’ literallymeans ‘ice’, just he had taken the Torah that is compared to water (Yishayahu 55:1) and hardening it into an unyielding position. Interestingly as well, ‘Haman’ is gematria ‘hamayim’, meaning ‘the water’. Haman didn’t even have to start with a Torah to then turn it into a sam hamaves, rather he felt was able to invent his own laws. More, amazingly, when one adds together the names of both Korach and Haman, it equals the gematria of ‘achas’, as well as keshura/tied together, in thatthey are one in the same, as the midrash above taught!

    1. Haman -A Gilgul of Eisav

    The Arizal sates (Sefer Hagilgulim, ch. 35) that Haman was a gilgul of Eisav and Mordechai a gilgul of Yaakov. This would explain why Haman had an ingrained hatred toward Mordechai.

       But there is also another view.

          Rav Yonasan Eibishitz brings (Yaaros Dievash 3:12) and many others bring a mesorah that Mordechai was actually a gilgulof Moshe, and Haman a gilgul of the mitzri that he killed (Shmos, ch. 2).

         This may explain why so many -like myself- have the name Moshe Mordechai.

          As we once mentioned, the sefer Tenufah Chaim states that megillas esther does not mean the megilla written by Esther. Rather, the word ‘megilla’  holds dual meanings. The root of this word is ‘giluy’, to reveal. In other words, megillas esther means: “The revelation of the hidden”!

        This is a most impeccable description of the events of Purim, as well as the deep mysteries of its story’ protagonists and antagonists.

  • 8th and 9th Teves’ Mysterious Fasts

    The Hidden Burial Spot of Moshe, Ezra’s Yartzeit, &….lha”ln, Drawing Mohammad?!

    January, 2023

    What follows was published for popular consumption, sharing our current minhag and its sources.

    Readers looking for an academic listing of sources, a detailed history, and sourced reasons behind these fasts, would be wise to enjoy the following research from the incomparable Dr. S. Leiman:

    1-

    Article:

    The Jewish Quarterly Review
    New Series, Vol. 74, No. 2 (Oct., 1983)

    Available to peruse at:

    https://www.jstor.org/stable/1454383?read-now=1&seq=6#page_scan_tab_contents)

    2-

    Lecture:

    http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/715371/Dr_Shnayer_Leiman/Jewish_Perspectives_on_Early_Christianity_-_Nittel,_the_Ninth_of_Teves_and_Pope_Simon_Peter

    ______________________________________________

    A Rabbi, a priest and an Imam walk into a conference…

         While this may sound like the opening of a joke, such is exactly what transpired.

    A couple of years after 9/11 I was invited to speak at a conference arranged by Muslim scholars on the topic of ‘Religion and War’. After first consulting with poskim, I agreed to join.

    It opened with the local Imam speaking about Islam’s relationship with jingoism and combat, followed by the priest discussing what Catholicism has to say on the subject. We were only allotted fifteen minutes each, so by the time it was my turn, I used the first half of my time to make jokes. I did this to get the crowd on my side before I utilized the second half of my time to correct the record from the first two speakers.

    The corrections were many, but it was these words from the Imam that took the cake:

    “People think Islam and warfare are brothers. But this is not true. In fact, Islam despises war and destruction! Indeed, I shall now corroborate this with the sharia.”

          ‘This should be interesting’, I thought to myself.

    He continued:

    “Who else but our holy prophet would come up with the following law? What other religion other than Islam would show such sensitivity?”

      What was he referring to? Well, he then quoted from the caliphate:

    “When you march through enemy territory [during war time] you mustn’t knock down any palm or fruit-bearing tree…”

            I let out an audible laugh. I didn’t intend to be rude, but I assumed this this Imam was also opening with jokes! I was quickly embarrassed when I realized that I was the only one who found humor in his statement.

    But what he was stated was so preposterous! I just looked up at him, as if to say, “Oh. You are being serious?”

         It became pitifully plain that he had no clue that -like much else in his faith and most others -this law was appropriated from the Torah.

         There are many other examples of such seizures of our most holy. But the paramount example may be a law of theirs we all know, but whose reasoning few are aware.

         It is a miracle of Yiddeshkeit and the genius of our mesorah that we never fell victim to that which has infected every other system of faith: the primary leader and teacher becoming Divine in the eyes of his people.

        In order to duplicate our success, lahavil ad lanetzach, in Islam, they threaten death or violence to those who create or display images of their false prophet. While many assume that such harsh retribution is due to his purported divinity, in fact, the opposite is the truth. Precisely because their false prophet was but a mere mortal do they aspire to be like the Jews who never deified their greatest leader. Paintings or pictures is a slippery slope toward such veneration; but a hop-skip-and-a-jump toward idolatry, which is punishable by death.

           The pasuk this week states “And He (Hashem) buried him (Moshe) in the valley, in the land of Moab, opposite Beth Pe’or; And no person knows the place of his burial, unto this day” (34:6).

         Rebbe Channa bar Chanina explained the pupose for Moshe’s kever being hidden: if we would daven by Moshe’s kever on our way to galus, the decree may be nullified! (Sota 14a).

         Another chazal states that this concealment was due to a fear that we would build the Beis Hamikdosh around that very spot (the incorrect location), and worse, if we were to do so, the Gentile nations would offer inappropriate things there. (Pisikta Zutrasa).

          However, perhaps the most repeated reasoning is the fear that we would turn such a site into a shrine and, chalila, daven to Moshe, R’l. (See Ralbag, Rav Hirsch, inter alia.

        Chazal share that this was also one of concerns of Yaakov, and why he didn’t wish to be buried in Mitzraim, as the mitzrim may turn his kever into a reliquary for idolatry (see Rashi to Bereishis 47:29).

             What does this have to do with teves/shevat?

          The Tur and Shulchan Aruch list more than twenty (!) fast dates throughout the year where it is ‘worthy’ to fast, some that even fall on rosh chodesh (siman 580). Here are some that relate to this time of year:

    “On the eighth of teves the Torah was translated to Greek during the days of King Ptolemy, causing darkness to enter the world for three days; On the ninth of teves, we do not know what trouble transpired; On the fifth of shevat the zekeinim from the days of Yehoshua died; On the twenty-third of shevatall of bnei yisroel gathered against shevet Binyamin on account of Gibah…”

           Among these dates are the 8th and the 9th of Teves.

    After reading these halachos, one would naturally have the follwing two questions:

    1- Why don’t we fast on these dates anymore?

    Were they ever observed?

    2- How do we understand the follwing cryptic comment of Shulchan Aruch when referring to the 9th of Teves:
    ‘[W]e don’t know what transpired’?

    How could we have a taanis and not know what it is commemorating?

    Is its reasoning/history found anywhere?

         As to our first question, when the Tur mentions these dates, the Beis Yosef comments that he “[H]as never heard of anyone who fasts on any of these dates, and indeed we may wonder regarding whoever established these, how could he have allowed for a few of them to fall on rosh chodesh?”

    So, although he too would later codify these fasts, there is ample support for the vast majority of yidden who do not fast on nay of these dates (see also Mishneh Berrura).

    In fact, in our day, many poskim would advise one not fast on these dates, as we are weaker, and fasting could lead to a weakening of teffilah, learning, and even middos.

         As for our second question, we must begin with the source for these fasts. The two main sources come from the geonic era, Halachos Gedolos and the 13th century Kol Bo -both authoritative sefarim, yet both written by uncertain authors.

          The Tur’s language regarding the mysterious 9th of teves is a little more telling: ‘The chachamim did not inform us…” alluding to a deeper secret that is known but not shared. Indeed, the original manuscript of Megilas Taanis (not the one in common use today) uses similar language.

        Many posit that this date was chosen as a fast since it is also the yartzeit of Ezra (Magen Avraham).

    But if so, why would it be a hidden?

        Some explain that we hide this based on the very same fear with which we opened: precisely because that Ezra greatness to our Torah history is almost unmatched -as he revivified the Torah in his day – revealing too much about his demise would negate the concern of yiddeshlkeit becoming a ‘cult of personality’, chalilah; about a person rather than the Riboneh Shel Olam (see Yaaros Devash, 2:12)!

        Some additions of the original source explicitly mention the death of Ezra,…as well as another yartzeit: Nechemia.

       To this, we could propose another reason for its hidden nature.

    Sefer Nechemia is not mentioned in among the twenty-four sifrei tanach listing found in chazal (Bava Basra 14b-15). In fact, the gemara (Sukkah 37a) mentions a pasuk in sefer Nechemia as being from sefer Ezra (Nechemia 8:15)!!

         As the Yad Yosef (to Ein Yaakov, Sanhedrin 93b) explains, in the days of the gemara both Ezra and Nechemia were contained in one sefer called, simply, ‘Ezra’.

        The gemara (Sanhadrin 93b) outright asks why Nechemia was not zoche to have the (second half of the) book named after him, explaining that this was a punishment for a certain event.

      Like sifrei Shmuel, Melachim and Divrei Hayamim, it was the Christians who divided Ezra into two, logiclly (without our mesorah) naming the latter half ‘Nechemia‘.

        Rav Reuvien Margilios (Margolios Hayam) quotes the Chida as explaining that chazal did not mean that Nechemia’s punishment to be indefinite, and certainly at a certain point in history he would become absolved. This is why Hashem, at a certain point in our history, allowed the division of ‘Ezra’ into two books and for the latter to be called ‘Nechemia’. (See my feature available on this site titled ‘Chapter and Verse’, from Ami Magazine, Shavous, 5774 where the story behind the 24 sefarim, as well the ‘chapters’ are discussed in great detail).

        Based on this, we can perhaps suggest that, at least initially, just as Nechemia’s sefer was ‘hidden’ so was his yartzeit.

        There are additional reasons given for this secretive date, more information about this version of Megillas Taanis, and the further details regarding the other fast dates mentioned in the Shulchan Aruch.

         But we will save these for another time, iy”H.

          

  • Shabbos Hotel Halacha

    Shabbos Hotel Halacha

         

    Where To Light Shabbos & Yom Yov Candles At A Pesach Hotel

    &
    The Case of the Pesach Petting Zoo

    February, 2023

    Several months ago, I was by a chuppah when, after its conclusion, a young man and his ten-year-old daughter came over to say hello. I recognized the father but was unable to place him. “I wanted you to meet our amazing young daughter” he began, “After all, you helped my wife and I significantly when she was about to enter this world”. I was completely confused. There were two possibilities: either he was mistaking me for someone else, or, an event took place in which I was a part and admitting my forgetfulness could only serve to be insensitive. So, I nodded my head in tentative agreement.

         My wife witnessed this exchange, and a few minutes later shared “I am so happy you were reunited with Mr. X. Isn’t nice to meet his daughter?”

         I abruptly stopped walking as she said this, turned to her, and admitted my ignorance during that busy moment in placing him, or the situation to which he was referring.

         “You don’t remember?!” she asked incredulously. “About ten years ago…we were staying in the Perl’s Pesach hotel in Niagara Falls? You were the guest rabbi for yom tov?…”

        So far, I remembered, of course.

         “In the middle of the night of yom tov there was a soft knock at our door. At forst we thought we were hearing things, but a few minutes later it started up again, growing slightly louder and louder. Looking through the peephole you saw a pacing yungerman, and immideatly opned it and walked out. He explained that his wife seemed to, maybe, be in labor. This was to be his frst child, and they were both unsure if this was real or a false alarm.. You quickly woke me up, and I listened to the symptoms, and it was clear a birth was immanent.

         “There were other matters involved, and you made it clear that they need to get to the hospital, either by cab (time allowing) or to drive themselves. He was still unsure if he should be ‘mechalal’ yom tov. There was no EMS in the Pesach program, so you went to room and dragged the phone out and said, ‘If you don’t get into a car, then I am dialing a frum doctor right now who will pick up if I call -he will convince you that it is time.’

        “He was so startled that you picked up the phone to call that he immediately took his wife to the nearest hospital. A baby girl was born later that night”.

         Admittedly, such events like the above are rarities, it does seem every time I am away at a Pesach or other program some fascinating issue arises.

       Another event at a hotel for whioch my wife was very helpful was when one Pesach hotel at which I was giving shiurim over chol hamoed invited a petting zoo one day for the frum kids. Like many Pesach hotels that have this same activity, the guests need not pay for animal feed as they would have to do separately in a traditional petting zoo; it was included and free.

         However, my wife –always wiser than I –had the sagacity to inquire

    from what this feed was made.

          Let’s just say that most feed is made from a mix of ingredients that

    would make any frum Jew on Pesach panic. As the reader is aware, deriving benefit from chometz is also prohibited. Would this be considered benefit?

          The question now was two-fold: A- if one may give this to children with.  which to feed the animals (No!), and B- if any Pesach hotel that utilized such a system (of which there are many) is considered to have actually purchased this feed with the guests’ money (beyond the scope of this column). In any event, the owners of this hotel were, to their credit, quite concerned at this discovery, and acted post-haste.

          All of the above comes to mind because I recently had the zechus to be the acting rabbi/speaker for a Chai Lifeline Shabbos retreat. Even though, chasdei Hashem, I no longer am responsible for kashrus at events at which I take part, there are always complexities that arise; some of which the reader need be aware. In fact, the very first piece I ever published (yarchon Ha’Amek, Toronto) was titled ‘HaMilon B’Halacha’ (the hotel in halacha). There I discussed issues ranging from the electric doors/locks on Shabbos, the non-Jewish bible found in drawers in most rooms (e.g. if they have the status of avodah zara, and the halachic effect that could have on one’s stay), eiruv chatzeiros, etc.

           But perhaps my greatest -and most common –‘hotel concern’ remains  hadlakas neros Shabbos. Very often, hotels will disallow fire of any kind to be kindled in private rooms. Due to such rules, frum programs will want hadlaka to take place in the dining hall (see Chovas HaDar, p. 94, Igros Moshe 5:20;30, Shmiras Shabbos K’hilchasah 45:9) and Be’er Moshe 1:14). However, that is only where the issue begins, as many hotels will further forbid kindling fire in any carpeted area. This often leaves one place in which hadlaka will be set-up: the hallway(s) near the dining halls.

          I will not here give a psak, but one should speak to their personal rav in case he holds that such an action is at best not good enough or, at worst, a beracha l’vatalah. Assuming such an area is not utilized for relaxing (with couches etc. that will be used over Shabbos), this is a serious problem. A few years ago, I was the visiting rabbi for a Shabbos program when I noticed this exact questionable set-up. The lighting was to be tucked-away in a corner of the hotel that would otherwise be inaccessible and/or isolated the rest of Shabbos.  I explained to the program director my concerns, and concluded, “It may be better to light with electricity in one’s room (without a beracha –Rav Moshe Feinstein) than to light here”. He thought this was an extreme approach and explained that he will call the well-known posek for the organization sponsoring that program. A few minutes later he called me to share what the posek said. “He said it’s a problem. And he agreed that it is better people light with electricity in their rooms than to light here”.

        He allowed me a moment of satisfaction, before he said: “But he did add one thing that you did not. He said that we should not announce this, and at this point -so close to Shabbos -only share with those who ask”. This was wise, and its reasons are beyond the scope of this short column.

         It reminded me of a story I often tell with Rav Yaakov Kamanetzky. Someone once approached him asking what the beracha he should tell others to make on a complicated dessert with many odd ingredients. “A quiet one” he wisely answered.

  • Rabbi Scholar’s ‘Simcha’

    Rabbi Scholar’s ‘Simcha’

    The Brilliant and Dedicated Chesed of Chai Lifeline, Camp Simcha, & Camp Simcha Special

      March, 2023

    ‘Brilliant’ is a term more often reserved for complex thinking than for acts of kindness.

    Shrewd, deep, clever, astute, etc. are also words frequently marshaled for sophisticated books, personalities, or byzantine structures.

    That is a shame.

    I recently had the zechus to be a guest at a Chai Lifeline Shabbos retreat. Next week I will share with the reader funny stories, interesting shailos, and fascinating issues that commonly arise when I have had the zechus to fill the role of ‘visiting rabbi’ for other, similar, events.

    I thoughtI would be better emotionally prepared for this past Shabbos due to my eldest daughter’s involvement with Chai/Simcha and the many children she had introduced to our family over the years.

    However, the reality of their operations was well beyond my already high expectations.

          It is axiomatic that we must care for those in need.

    However, ‘chesadim‘ come in many forms, with financial aid being but one of the myriad of burdens we can lesson.

    For example, when I was in yeshiva, a rebbe once shared with me that one must give maaser of his time in yeshiva for those who are falling behind or can’t find suitable chavrusos, etc. Tzedaka is not always in the form of financial aid.

         The shrewd understand that there are wealthy people who cry themselves to sleep, as well as those who from the outside seem to have it all figured out but whose internal walls are crumbling.

    These are individuals who may appear to walk with confidence, yet who who feel within as shattered vessels.

          Deadly disease, R’l, is an example of the above.

    It knows not from tax brackets, cares not if one’s peckle is already heavy, and does not discriminate based on age, status, or level of religious observance.

    L”a, when it comes to children of such diseases, there is not a parent on earth who would not steal the machleh for themselves, if they could.

      Such non-discriminate pain must be matched with a similarly blinded chesed organization that can aid in returning smiles and laughter back into their respective homes, where such children are counting down the days until their next adventure instead of their next treatment.

       According to Chai’s mission statement: “Chai Lifeline is a leading international children’s health support network, providing social, emotional and financial support to children with life-threatening or lifelong illnesses and their families”

        But this doesn’t even begin to tell the whole story.

         Rav Simcha Scholar -Chai’s founder and CEO – advised with many gedolim when first materializing this organization, especially Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach and the previous Klausenberger rebbe.

    The latter once shared with him that providing enjoyment for and relief to such children is so significant that (translated from Yiddish), “If such a child asks for a Coca-Cola then it is assur to bring them a Pepsi”!

         At Chai, they call the children who are ill ‘Warriors’. This is not meant euphemistically. Let me share a story or two.

         My daughter often talks about her experiences working with Chai, the trips they go on, the fun they have together. For some time now, she has been referencing a girl named Beilah. “Beilah and I took Devorah to the American Dream Mall”, “Beilah and I visited Chaya in the hospital”, etc. I was puzzled by this, and finally asked my daughter, “I thought that its typically one volunteer per child. Why did Chai pair you with this Beilah?”

        My daughter looked at me as if confused by the question. “Beilah is not a co-volunteer with me, Beilah is the young lady who is ill with whom I am partnered”.

       Now I was the one confused. “But you are so often talking about going with her to visit with this-or-that sick child”.

        My daughter explained that Beilah was so appreciative and emotionally charged by Chai’s visits, trips and gifts, that all she wants to do is give that same simchah to other sick children.

         Warriors indeed!

       My daughter then shared how one Shabbos in Camp Simcha (Chai’s summer program for sick children), they offered an “Ask the Camp Rav” event. Anyone with a question regarding halacha or hashkafa was to submit their query before Shabbos, and the next day the rav would provide informative answers. This would be an optional Shabbos activity in the afternoon. My daughter’s camper felt she should provide a question, however, being young, was having trouble coming up with one that she felt was worthy. “Racheli” she asked my daughter, “Maybe you can help me with a question…”

          My daughter -who at this point was extremely close with her -suggested she write down that the rav discuss tzadik v’rah lo, the definitive, timeless mystery of ‘why do bad things happen to good people’.

         This subject was of the three that Moshe rabbeinu asked Hakadosh Baruch Hu: “Moshe requested to understand the ways of Hashem, as it is stated: “Show me Your ways and I will know You” (shemos, 33:13), asking, ‘Riboneh Shel Olam, why is it that the righteous prosper, the righteous suffer, the wicked prosper, the wicked suffer?” (Berachos 7a)

         The subtext of this question was obvious to both her and her camper, and to the reader as well, I’m sure.

        Nevertheless, in response, her camper laughed at the notion. “Racheli, that’s not even a shailah! Everyone knows that this world is only a pruzdar, a gateway, to olam habah. Our reward is not wasted on this fleeting, material world!”

        This is a twelve-year-old girl!

       As a parent of a volunteer, I have seen hundreds -maybe thousands -of pictures from Camp Simcha and Chai events, trips and get-togethers. While some of the participants are in wheelchairs, others frail, and some on the mend -and made-up of all Jewish backgrounds -each picture always has a common denominator, one thing that is always the same:

    Every. Single. Child. Is. Smiling.

    As I was leaving Sunday morning, I bumped into Rabbi Scholar, who shared a story that taught him one of secrets in running any type of successful chesed organization. He was once sitting with Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach, with whom, as mentioned, he would often seek counsel on a host of halachic and hashkafic questions. By the end of this meeting, the aged gaon needed some rest. As his guest was leaving, Rav Shlomo Zalman said, “All these shailos, all the money you need to raise, all the stresses of its operation are worth it for just one child”.

          Rabbi Scholar shared that he could not fully grasp his meaning. Surely one is not obligated to build camps, events, etc. for just one choleh!

         He then shared, “It was only later when I finally I comprehended his full intent. He was teaching me how each camper, each child, every program, each ‘warrior’ should feel as if he/she is our sole focus. So individualized should each chesed be that not only will no child’s needs be ignored, but they -each and every one them -that the campus was built just for him/her!”

         Relating to Chai/Simcha, the dictum of ‘kol hamosif goreah‘ applies.

    Klal yisroel continues to teach the world -and multi-national organizations -how chesed is performed, how a truly dedicated staff sacrifices, and how sincere volunteers act.

        Most saliently, we must learn how all those involved in all of the above daven for the end of their need; a time when the sefer harefuos will be returned to us (a book with all cures, that was hidden by Chizkiya -see Berachos 10b with Bava Kama 85a).

       May that day come soon.

  • Hatzalah’s Miracle of Flight

    Hatzalah’s Miracle of Flight

    Picture Above Was Provided To Me From Hatzalah And Is Of The Choleh Arriving From Orlando To New York via Hatzalah Air

    February, 2023

    No matter our personal financial circumstances, comparative to history, we live in a time of luxury. Most, wisely, would not trade their current lifestyle and its modern-day comforts even with that of a 16th century king at peace-time. We sometimes take for granted our many modern marvels – indoor plumbing, to name just one.

        But out of all of them,travel, perhaps, may be our greatest contemporary extravagance. Throughout history, those who ventured into the vast wilderness of the open roads of yore were not simply journeying from point A to point B, rather they were embarking on an odyssey. Often, they did not voyage because the wanted to go someplace, rather because they had to leave somewhere.

         It is therefore remarkable, even now, close to 100 years since the dawn of flight, that one can board a plane in New York City, or London, or Australia and be anywhere in the world mere hours later.

         The miracle of flight is often interrupted by silly complaints of seat space, critiques of beverage charges and frustrations over delays. However, not only must we appreciate this gift, but as I learned the other week, we should consider how it could be harnessed for amazing chesdaim.

          My family recently arrived in Orlando erev Shabbos, and it was soon time to head to mincha. Orlando has a thriving and growing frum community, however, we were staying in an area of housing rented to families on vacation, where certain houses were designated for minyanim. As I pulled up, something seemed off. I saw frum people, but no one was davening or preparing to do so. Stepping out of my car and walking closer, the painful reality hit. A man coming to mincha complained of faintness and then collapsed on the ground. He was bleeding profusely and was responding incoherently.

           It was a jarring site.

         It would later be confirmed that he had suffered a major incident. Within minutes both local EMS and local Hatzalah arrived to swiftly bring the serious choleh to another location from where he would be rapidly airlifted to an appropriate hospital in Orlando’s center. In the meantime, the amazing frum owner of the home at which we were daveneing was holding the choleh’s head up to contain the bleeding, while another vacationer -himself a Hatzalah member back home -was giving guidance. All this time, the wife of the choleh was, wisely, talking to her husband to keep him awake and his mind active. As it was no time for ersatz modesty, I explained to her as she boarded the ambulance, a quick-and-condensed summation of the halachos of a hospital stay over Shabbos (too often, people are overly and unnecessarily strict, at the risk of the choleh and/or the lucidity of those caring for them).

            The rest of Shabbos was overcast with a thick air of anxiety, as we all awaited any news. B’chasdei Hashem, our small minyan was made up by rabbanim, askanim and bnei Torah; we came together through tefilla, Torah, and deep conversation.

          While the choleh survived the initial episode, we soon learned that he would have to be transported from the Orlando hospital to Hospital X in NYC, where certain specialized and careful procedures could be performed to save his life.

         But how would such a transport be possible?

          And, at what cost?

           Most saliently, any fluctuations in air pressure, any sudden turbulence or other abrupt vicissitudes could potentially, and severely, aggravate his status…and that would be the best outcome.

          Our small group of vacationers in the area received the following text two days later, which was sent to hundreds of his family, friends and anyone else aware of the situation:

          “Ploni is entering a very critical phase. In a few minutes he will begin to be transferred from Orlando to Hospital X in New York. The flight is extremely dangerous for him and we need all additional teffilos and zechusim. This period will last for many hours, until he is safely at Hospital X. Please do what is needed”

           That last line of the text still gives me chills. It serves as a forceful reminder to us all that we are already well-aware of what we as individuals need to work on, the skills we have to share, and the teffilos that serve to open our hearts.

          I received that text at 2:56pm, and we now could only wait and daven, ever apprehensively, for any morsel of information.

          At 7:52pm, my phone chimed again with a message from the owner of the shul/home where this all began, to our minyan group. I anxiously opened my phone to read the following message:

    “Flight was complex yet uneventful and smooth. We are now on the way to Hospital X. Thank you all for all the incredible logistical support -at every level. May we only be busy with simchos.”

         The sender then shared, “The above text was written by Eli Rowe”.

            Ah! Now this miracle flight made sense!     

           Eli Rowe is the talented, energetic and creative founder/president of Hatzalah Air…and one of their pilots! For the unfamiliar reader, Hatzalah Air an incredible and relatively new organization.

           Since their maiden flight in 2019, they have flown over 200 urgent airlifts and flights ranging from patients to transplant organs to other medical essentials. Their mission also includes transportation for dozens of patients from eretz yisroel for crucial treatment in the United States. They are also working with Israel, recently sending the country emergency-use helicopters that can be highly beneficial in urgent -and densely populated -emergencies.

           So, while the responses to this choleh’s successfultrip ranged from “Baruch Hashem” to “Miracles are happening!” -all true -I knew there was more to this flight than we could ever fully grasp.

         After waiting a couple of weeks, I reached out to Eli Rowe to hear how this astonishing chesed was accomplished from his perspective.  He explained that this was one of the most challenging flights they had ever undertook, on many levels. As one example, he sahred that, “We needed to fly at 18,000 feet -instead of 45,000 -so as to pressurize the plane to sea level”. Aside for the complexity of flying at that altitude, we should note that flying that low burns far more fuel due to the air being more dense.

         He then shared the team that was involved. “We had an incredible Hatzalah Air crew consisting of a Flight Physician, Flight Nurse, Raspatory Therapist, and Paramedic, as well as two Hatzalah Air pilots. His condition was critical, so we asked a shailah [risk vs reward by cholim is a very complex issue in halacha], and consulted with Dr. Zimmerman, the medical director of Chevrah Hatzalah, as well as Dr. Avishai Neuman and Dr. Michael Grushko, who are the medical directors of Hatzalah Air”.

        Mi k’amcha yisroel?

         Even on vacation, and among strangers at a makeshift minyan, among people he had yet to even shake hands with yet, we are card-carrying members of the greatest health insurance conglomerate known to man –achdus yisroel.

        On that note, please be mispallel for Yona Michel bas Adina Sima, as he is still in need of critical refuah, and I await the day I can finally greet him and finally get the chance to daven together.

  • Birthdays in Halacha & Jewish Tradition

    Birthdays in Halacha & Jewish Tradition

    Part 1

          This week I had two early events on Sunday. They were the exact same event, celebrated by two different people, in two different areas of town. A former president of the shul was having a 75th birthday party near Long Island, and, a noted askan was having his 75th birthday party at one of his business propeerties. It is a product of our wonderful times that both of these men are full of vigor and still in their prime,  b’chasdei Hashem!

           Sitting at these events, I began to have a thought every rav would have: ‘What if they ask me to speak?’ What does one say, as a rav, on a birthday?

          Then, just three days later, it was my own birthday, and I was asked by many to give them a beracha.

         All of this led me to consider the sources for such an occasion.

    1. Birthdays: A History

          It is often cited that the first reference to birthdays in the Torah is found in the fortieth perek of sefer Bereishis. Yosef tells his co-captives that his dream interpretations will be realized in three days’ time (pasuk 19). Immediately following this the Torah states, “Behold, on the third day, it was Pharoah’s birthday, making a feast for all who served him, among them, releasing the sar hamashkim and the sar ha’ophim” (pasuk 20).

         Rashi there shares that the term the Torah uses is the most proper pronunciation for a birthday:‘hu’ledes’. This is the verb cognate titled hofal, a passive verb in the causative form. This is because a birthday has two conditions met: the passivity of the event, and the fact that people were there to make it possible/easier, such as one’s mother, midwives, a doctor, etc.

        However, some wish to prove from the fact that this practice of celebrating a birthday is found Pharoah as evidence that it is not a Jewish concept (see, e.g. Otzar Kol Minhagei Yeshurin 14. He also testifies that for this reason Rav Yitzchak Elchonon even refused to be honored in Kovno at a celebration marking his fiftieth year in rabbanus).

         According to this view, what would be the reason behind the Torah’s negative view for such commemorations? The Aderes (Nefesh Dovid), explains that to observe such a day may be seen as an act of conceit and vanity, as one is essentially asserting that one’s birth has been vital to the world, that their very existence is reason to rejoice. Unless one is a tzadik, this should not be done.

    I would posit a simple proof to this argument from chazal (Eiruvin 13b) where the gemara concludes that it would have been better had Man not been created.

         However, many others make the opposing argument, in defense of birthdays and their celebrations. For one, the midrash Socher Tov on the very pesukim quoted above records the custom of Jews celebrating the day of their birth. The present Sadigur rebbe expresses surprise that some would argue that we should avoid these events simply because reshaim in the Torah happened to also embrace them. After all, do we not find in the Yerushalmi (Moed Katan, 1:7) that the very notion of sheva berachos was first learned from Lavan?! (See his words in Mesilos, 5747) 

        Even the idea that Pharoah is the lone mention of birthdays, and their celebrations, is challenged. Rav Efraim Greenblatt brings a multitude of evidence that this is not the case at all (shu’t Rivevos Efraim 4:240 #7, bottom of first column). Some examples he brings: Chazal share the birthday of Moshe, Yitzchak -expressing the koach of such a day in both cases (e.g. Megilla 13b and Nazir 14a, and Peskita 6:25 where we are taught how Hashem saved the construction of the mishkan for the period of Yitzchak’s birth, etc.)

         He also quotes the Ksav Sofer who made a shehechiyanu on his fiftieth birthday (shu’t Ksav Sofer 145).

        Rav Greenblatt does end, however, with a potential caveat: “We see then that it is worthy for gedolim to celebrate their birthdays”.

        There are more sources for the idea of gedolim commemoration their birthdays. According to some, we read Rus on Shavuos as it is Dovid hamelech’s birthday (Rema 490:9), and chazal share that Rav Yosef made a celebration for the rabanan when he turned sixty (Moed Katan 28a).

          Some prove from this latter source that birthdays must be something akin to kodosh, as another gemara teaches that a talmud chacham mustn’t benefit from a seudas hareshus (Pesachim 49, with shu’t Beis Yisroel 32).

    Then again, these are all sources concerning gedolim.

        Perhaps the most famous source for birthdays being a special day comes from a Yerushalmi (Rosh Hashana 3:8). Chazal there teach that reason for Amalek’s power against klal Yisroel was borne from the fact that the generals only sent the soldiers whose birthday was that same day, saying, ‘Not easily is a soldier killed on his birthday’. It was for this reason, in the end of parshas Beshalach, that Moshe had to lift his arms, as he was manipulating or thrawting the powerful mazalos aiding those on their birthday! (See also Yalkut, Chabakuk, 564).

        The Netziv alludes to this idea when he states, “On the anniversary of one’s creation, one is disposed to become strengthened (Emek Davar, Shmos 12:2).

         Next week, iy”H, we will bring more sources, as well as special segulos some bring for one’s birthday.

    II. Happy Birthday?

          When I was a young boy, I became sensitive to the fact that adults do not look forward to their birthdays. Worse, it seemed, they dreaded its arrival, an effect which was a mystery to me. But, as I got older, I began to appreciate this uneasiness as a wicked brew of regret, anxiety, and the ever-clearer realization that this life is but a cholom ya’uf–a passing dream. My wife, on the other hand, has never allowed for such negative impulses to mar the simcha of another year lived, saying, “One should feel only hakaros hatov on a birthday. I’ve never had that feeling of apprehension as I get older”.

       Neverthelss, there may be substantiation to my side. The pasuk in Iyov states ‘ya’avod yom ivaled bo -would the day of my birth be obliterated’ (3:3). Following Rashi’s translation, as we have, Metzudos Dovid explains that Iyov was requesting that his birthday be dark and dreary, passing without notice, observance or pageantry.

         However, this likely has little connection to modern adverse reaction to birthdays, as Iyov’s blunt remark was due to the nonpareil wretchedness he was then experiencing.

          The Malbim takes Iyov’s comments about his birthday -and birthdays in general -even further, positing that Iyov was attributing the literal day of his birth for his presnt torment, musing that its very mazal/horoscope was the cause which had triggered all the bitterness that had befallen him. Such a view may be proof to the view that Iyov was not a Jew (see Bava Basra 15b). This is because we members of klal yisreol were assured ‘ein mazal l’Yisroel’; meaning that although mazalos/horoscopes are a powerful entity, klal Yisroel has the power to rise above it(Shabbos 156b with Ritva and the Ran to Moed Kattan 28a; see shu’t HaRashba 1:148). So, the fact that Iyov would attribute his agony to his birth-mazal would mean that either the Malbim held like Rav Chanina who argued (ibid.) yesh mazal l’Yisroel – even yidden fall under the jurisdiction of mazalos –, or, that Iyov was not a Jew. In fact, Rashi also mentions Iyov’s gentile pedigree, explaining that when Yehoshua and Kalev sought to placate a panicked nation after the spies’ return, they remarked to the nation that they had nothing to fear, as the one virtuous member of Cannan, in whose zechus they may have been protected, had deceased -Iyov. (Iyov had just died according to this interpretation; see Bamidbar 14:9 with Rashi).

         Consequently, for us today, both because we are yidden, and, because we trust that our mazal can change in just one shemoneh esreh (quote in the name of the Steipler), we need not -we should not -be depressed on our respective birthdays no matter our present circumstance(s).

    III. Birthday Berachos

        Interestingly, the Chida in his commentary to Iyov (Chomas Anuch) uses this same pasuk as proof to: “…the idea the mekubalim say that on one’s birthday one’s mazal is at its strongest and healthiest of the year”.

    The Ben Ish Chai finds a source to this idea in the famous gemara refarding an eighteen-year-old Rav Elazar ben Arzayeh whose beard turned white as a confirmation to his worthiness. He explains that such a ness could take place for him because it was also Rav Elazar’s birthday (Ben Yohiyaduh, Berachos 28b).

        The Magen Avraham makes a similarly observation. The Yalkut (to Chavakuk, #564) references a chazal found in the Yerushalmi which we quoted last week – that Amalek took advantage of this birthday mazal among their soldiers. In his commentary there, he explains that this would also explain a very famous mesorah (found in Rosh Hashana 11a) that it is a positive presage and a zechus for a one to die on their birthday, hinting to their tzidkus. He explains this chazal based on the power of birthdays: for one’s demise to take place when one’s mazal is at its peak must then, ergo, mean this was a zechusfor that person (Zayis Reanen see also Yaaros Devash 1:17 and Yom HaHoledes U’Mashma’aso, p. 9).

         All the above may help us understand the minhag Chabad and some sefardim -which is now prevalent with many others as well – to give out berachos on one’s birthday. Perhaps this is due to the fact that one’s mazal is robust and therefore their koach beracha is strong as well. Evidence to this can be found in the writings of Rav Elya Lopian where he posits that the the teffila of someone on their birthday had tremendous power. He finds an allusion to this from a pasuk in Tehillim (2:7) ‘…bni atah, ani hayom yiladticha –on this day you (Dovid) became my son; on this day I have begotten you’. Rav Wachtvogel, zt’l, the mashgiach of Lakewood, is quoted as urging the recital of Tehillim on one’s birthday, specifically 13 and 103 (Leket Reshimos, teffila, p. 217)

         Interestingly, while I have been unable to find a source for one to give out berachos, I did find a source that others hsuld give to the birthday celebrant a beracha. Rav Yisroel Lipshutz (d. 1860) wrote in his tzavah (ethical will; #6) “Behold I command each of my sons and daughters to write to their sibling on their birthdays transmitting a beracha of ‘mazaltov”.

    IV. Birthday Cakes and More

    Reb Moshe Freidman of Toronto shared with me that Rav Chaim Berlin used to send a fancy birthday cake every year to the Rav Shmuel Salant.
    The local newspaper ‘Chavatzelet’ reported on February 1909:

    “On the 2nd of shevat Rav Shmuel Salant celebrated his 93d birthday.
    Gedolei Yerushalyim and dignitaries assembled in his house. One of the Gedolim said Chidushei Torah. Rav Chaim Berlin  (shlita) [zt”l] sent, as he usually did, a decorated fancy birthday cake with flowers & ornaments.  It was inscribed with cream the following words, ‘ki orech yamim ushnos chaim tovim v’shalom rav yosifu….’ (The gematria of the entire beracha is 5669 [1909])”.

         This is a fascinating testimony for a number of reasons. For one, the year before this event, the Aderes, Eliyahu David Rabinowitz-Teomim, was niftar. He was brought in to take the mantle of the leadership in Yerushalaim from the aging Rav Shmuel Salant. Sadly, the Aderes predecesased him (passing at just over sixty yuears of age). Secondly, the Aderes wrote harshly against birthday celbrations. Writing in his sefer Nefesh Dovid “How angry it makes me when people wish to celebrate the date of my birth and who wish to to then give me berachos…” going on to list some of the concerns we mentioned last week.

         Thirdly, is the fact that a cake was given to Rav Shmuel Salant. While a minority argue that certain elemts of birthday celbrations may fall under the rubric of chukas goyim, a cake, it would seem, would not. Indeed, cakes are something we make for all special occasions, from yom tov to having company.

    V. Blowing Out Candles

    The Kolbo (siman 118), written in the 13th century is  the first to mention a concern in blowing out a flame.

    Perhaps a more ancient source comes from Otzar Hamidrashim (pirkei rabbeinu hakodesh). This concern is again repeated by the Reishis Chochma and the Ben Ish Chei, among other more    recent poskim and tzadikim.

    Based on the earliest sources mentioned, blowing out a candle can lead to a very specific tragedy (nefeilah).

    Some suggest that the concern is due to the fact that  the sound one makes when blowing is identical to a name of a specific malach.

    Still others suggest that this concern is due to the fact that one’s neshama is compared to       a ner/candle. This last reason perhaps comes with certain leniencies: the concern would only be true for a candle and not other types of flames. I have since seen in Hegyonei Haparsha, Devarim, p. 763 where the author argues                       a similar position.

    Rav Chaim Kinievsky (Derech Sicha p.282) gives a more  practical reason  for  the  concern  of not blowing out candles: candles used to be made from forbidden cheilev (animal fats) and there was a concern of getting too close to the forbidden substance when extuishing.

          Many bring an ancient custom of blowing out candles through overly pronouncing the first constanants of the words ‘Pesach’ or ‘Purim’! At the very least, we can see that this concern is a real one that is supported up until our generation, even in the classic poskim such as Rabbi Ephraim Greenblatt (Shu’t Rivvevos Ephriam 54:35) and Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfled (Shu’t Salmas Chaim, Page 213, siman 499 in the Bernstein ed.) and the Steipler Gaon (Orchos Rabbeinu; Cf. see Yabia Omer 9:95cf. Shu’t Noda Beyhudah, even haezer #79).

    Perhaps we will return to birthdays in another post, in good health, iy”H!